


Hope in the Darkness

by anthfan



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drama, Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-13 08:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthfan/pseuds/anthfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Late season one. Develops the Oliver/Felicity relationship within the confines of the episodes and a little added tweaking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

There was a drumming somewhere close. Maybe she had fallen asleep at her desk again in the lair. She tried to open her eyes and discovered the drumming was actually in her head and the bright light that had just peeked through was very unwelcome. Either this was the worst hangover she’d ever had, or something else had happened. 

She turned her face into whatever lay beneath her and tried again, this time not wincing, when she took in what was in front of her. The dark green sheets were not ones she recognized, and a flare of panic went through her. 

Earlier memories flooded back and without thought to how she felt she scrambled into a sitting position and took stock of her surroundings. 

The last thing she really remembered was leaving Verdant. Oliver and Digg were finishing up and Oliver had told her over the comm link she should head home. 

She always parked a block away so no one got suspicious of seeing her car outside the club every night, and either one of the guys or a bouncer from the club would walk her to her car. However, that night she had honestly forgotten. Her attention was solely on her phone and a troubling issue at her real work that had been bothering her for the past couple of days. 

She didn’t see the group of three men until she was almost upon them. She tried for flippant, and then rude, and then tried to remember any small bit of self defense that Digg had taught her but she came up blank. All she managed to do was thumb her cell on and call Oliver in hopes he could overhear. When her phone got batted to the ground with a rough slap and she heard the glass shatter her heart dropped. 

Everything else was a bit of a blur. There were hands on her, and her purse was ripped away and then somehow she was on the ground and her vision tunneled down to white spots that flickered off and on in front of her. 

When she felt herself being dragged towards an alley something clicked inside her and she fought back, legs kicking, arms punching. She would have bit one of them if she’d had the chance. 

Then she had suddenly been dropped hard and she heard one of her attackers let out a grunt of pain. There was the sound of something cutting through the air twice more and then everything was still around her. 

All she could see was dark asphalt and how the standing rain water reflected the one dim street light, she hurt too much to be disgusted by where she lay. Her vision faded and she heard a voice call her name and then there was another dark form in front of her. 

She twitched in panic but couldn’t move and when a gloved hand brushed hair out of her face she whimpered. 

The sound of tires screeching made her try and sit up and then she realized it was Oliver by her side, still dressed as the Hood. The relief that shot through her made her go limp and if his hand hadn’t shot out to catch her head she would have cracked it again on the ground. 

She could hear Diggle then, asking if she was alright and all she could do was hum a response. She must have lost consciousness because she had no other memory prior to waking up in this strange bed. 

With her heartbeat beginning to return to normal she finally let herself look around. The room was massive. Everything oversized and dark. Large window, California king bed, leather armchair that could probably have doubled as a couch. The one framed photo on the sidetable let her know she was in Oliver’s room at the Queen mansion. 

Her mouth went dry. She was in Oliver Queen’s bed, in Oliver Queen’s room, in the Queen family mansion. 

Her boss was no where to be seen and for that she was eternally grateful. She didn’t know why he had brought her here and not back to the lair which had been closer, or even taken her to her own place, or maybe a hospital, based on how her head still felt. 

She reached up a tentative hand and sucked in a sharp breath as she brushed over a tender lump on the back of her head. Her hands were scraped up and the palms raw from where she’d fallen and when she shifted some she realized her entire left side must be one large bruise. 

Felicity pushed the rich, down comforter off her legs and gasped when she saw they were bare. The skinned knees didn’t even phase her. Both hands went to her stomach and she clutched at unfamiliar fabric, pulling it outwards and realizing it was a grey t-shirt. A very large grey t-shirt. 

Cheeks flaming she cast frantic eyes around the room but nothing was out of place and there was no indication for where the clothes she had been wearing now were. 

She sighed loudly and pushed lank hair out of her face, and winced when a finger tangled in something sticky and matted; she didn’t even want to contemplate what that could be. 

She scooted slowly to the edge of the bed and lowered her legs, taking a moment when things went a bit lopsided, and then pushed to her feet. 

There were three doors in the room, all of them closed. The nearest ended up being a closet easily the size of her apartment and she pulled the door quickly shut behind her. She got lucky on her second try and found an unsurprisingly giant bathroom, which included the most obscenely indulgent shower she’d ever laid eyes on. 

She rolled her eyes automatically and regretted it instantly as a vicious throb reminded her of what had happened the night before. She could have spent a considerable amount of time going through Oliver Queen’s bathroom, but she just grabbed the nearest towel and opened the floor to ceiling glass shower door. 

The control panel for the multiple shower heads was fairly simple to figure out even with her rattled brain and soon enough four jets, at varying heights were pouring out steaming hot water. 

She had the presence of mind to make her way back to the door and switch the lock before stripping Oliver’s shirt off and stepping into the shower. 

The only shampoo was his, and as soon as she poured it into her hand she knew she was going to regret the decision to shower in his bathroom. Surely his sister had a bathroom she could have used, or one of what was most likely the hundreds of guest rooms. But it was too late now and the heat of the water made the scent of the shampoo that much stronger and she actually felt her traitorous knees wobble a bit as she smelled him all around her. 

As much as she would have enjoyed this any other day, the heat was starting to get to her and she shut it off with a shaky hand. Now her legs were weak for an entirely different reason and she scooped the towel up quickly before dropping onto the closed toilet lid to dry herself off.

Feeling like she wouldn’t collapse any second she made her way to the counter with the double sinks and opened two drawers before she found an array of pain medication. Prescription bottles filled the drawer and she picked up several, seeing Oliver’s name on them and noticing they were all still full. A bottle of ibuprofen was buried towards the back and she shook three tablets out into her hand and swallowed them down. 

A glance in the mirror reminded her she was still standing naked in his bathroom and she hastily pulled his shirt back on, hating that she had no other choice. She had no shoes, no pants and had no idea where Oliver had disappeared to. 

With a sigh she undid the lock and stepped back into the bedroom. It looked the same as she had left it. Her heartbeat increased again as she padded quietly to the only door she hadn’t opened and pushed down on the handle. A large hallway was in front of her, with artwork lining the walls, and perfectly selected decor arranged on tables. 

Felicity looked left and then right and she didn’t hear or see a soul. She took a deep breath and decided to go to the right, and when she went around the first corner she was glad to see she has chosen correctly; the main staircase was now in front of her. 

She’d seen this staircase in pictures from fundraisers and galas the Queen’s had held at the mansion, but she had never thought she’d see it in person, or while she wasn’t wearing any pants. 

Hoping she’d find Oliver, or even Diggle, she quickly tip-toed down the stairs and was about to cross the marble foyer when a voice rang out in the large space. 

“Who are you and what are you doing in my house?” 

Felicity froze in place and pivoted towards the voice, even though she was fairly certain she knew who it was. 

Moira Queen stood perfectly centered in an archway, in a beautiful business suit, not a hair out of place, and an icy stare directed on Felicity. 

“Mrs. Queen!” Felicity blurted out, unnecessarily, “Um, I’m, um...” she stammered, having no idea why Oliver would have brought her here, why he was not around to explain himself, and no idea what she should say to make her presence in the Queen mansion make any sort of sense. 

Just as she opened her mouth involuntarily, “Felicity, there you are!” boomed across the room, and she looked up to see Oliver striding towards them. 

“Good morning, Mother.” he said good naturally, pausing to buss her cheek before continuing on his path to Felicity, “I thought you were in Gotham until tomorrow.” 

“The meeting got cancelled so I flew back early this morning.” she said, her tone still hard, “I was just saying hello.” 

“Good morning.” Oliver said to Felicity, giving her one of those charming, fake smiles she saw him flash on the floor of the club or to the paparazzi, and before she knew what had happened he’d leaned down and kissed her. It was quick, and mostly on the corner of her mouth, but still...Oliver Queen had just kissed her. 

Her thoughts spun out of control and something told her it would be best to fight her natural instincts and keep her mouth shut just then. 

Moira crossed the space between them and gave Felicity an appraising look, taking note of her bare legs and feet. 

“Here.” Oliver said and pressed something into her hands. “Thought you could borrow something from Thea just for now.” 

She realized he’d given her a pair of running shorts and before she could process what the hell she was doing she skimmed into them. 

Felicity froze with her hands on the waistband and then slowly pulled the shirt that obviously belonged to Oliver down over top until only an inch or so of the shorts peeked out from underneath. 

She knew her face was redder than it had ever been. She had seriously just put on pants in the Queen foyer, in front of Oliver and Moira Queen. The floor could open up and swallow her at any moment and she’d be just fine with that. 

Oliver cleared his throat and turned to his mother, “This is Felicity Smoak, she works in IT for Queen Consolidated and we ran into each other at the club last night. There was an unfortunate incident with a drunk customer and some spilled drinks, and I could hardly leave her to fend for herself.” 

The playboy image was in full effect and Moira gave her son a long suffering look. “Of course, dear, always the gentleman.” 

The door opened behind her and she turned to see Diggle walk in, looking like nothing was out of place. 

Diggle’s eyes met hers and asked without saying a word how she was. She gave him a nod and a half smile, the most she could do under the watchful eyes of Moira Queen. As far as she knew Felicity and Diggle had never met. 

“Ah, Diggle. Could you be good enough to run Ms. Smoak back to her place. I’m sure she can give you directions.” Oliver said smoothly, his not so subtle indication that he hadn’t known her long enough or cared enough to find out where she lived a clear front for his mother, but it still stung. He was dismissing her. 

“Of course Mr. Queen.” Diggle replied and held a hand out towards the door in invitation for her to go ahead of him. 

Felicity turned to Oliver and his mother. “It was a pleasure meeting you. I’m sorry if things were weird, what with me just wandering around your home, and scaring the daylights out of you. I mean, I know if I was at my place and some strange woman I didn’t know just popped up around the corner I’d probably...well, not that two people can really be in my place at the same time without you knowing. It’s small. And this place, I mean, it’s massive, and I’m sure you could not see someone for days if you didn’t want to, and...” she finally trailed off when she saw Oliver rub a hand across the back of his neck and try and hide a smile. 

Moira, to her credit, hadn’t so much as twitched an eyebrow at her ramble, and Felicity flushed red again and looked at the floor in embarrassment. How many times could one person be humiliated in one day?

“That’s quite alright, any friend of Oliver’s is always welcome here.” she said evenly, but the way she said ‘friend’ sounded like an insult and Felicity’s head shot up. Oliver had taken half a step forward and was now slightly between them. 

She didn’t know what possessed her. Maybe it was her head injury, or how tired she was, or maybe it was how Oliver had made her feel earlier, but she didn’t think. She turned towards him and lifted on her toes before snaking a hand around his neck to pull him forward. 

She knew she had surprised him when he didn’t resist and she took advantage of his slightly open mouth by kissing him soundly. 

The peck he had given her earlier didn’t compare. That fireworks thing that always shows up in books and songs. It was really true. His hand clenched in the fabric at her waist and she wondered when he had put it there. 

Digg’s clearing his throat made her drop back into reality and she separated from Oliver’s lips with an audible pop. She lowered herself back down to the floor and let her hand drag very deliberately down the front of his shirt. “See you later.” she said softly, before giving him a look that only he could know meant he was in some serious trouble and turned for the door without looking back. 

Digg wisely didn’t say anything until he had shut the car door behind her and had pulled out of the Queen’s driveway. 

“Anything I need to know?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers in the rearview mirror

She was suddenly furious with Oliver. How dare he put her in that position with her employer. Now Moira Queen thought she was nothing more than one more notch in her son’s bedpost at best, and at worst, someone who would sleep her way to the top. 

Her eyes sparkled with angry tears and she swiped at them with the back of her hand. “Why would he bring me to his house? Why didn’t you take me back to the lair, or my own apartment even?” she demanded

“We did take you to the lair. Looked you over, cleaned up the worst of the cuts and scrapes, but nothing seemed to be too serious.” Diggle answered, his voice betraying nothing. “As to why Oliver took you there...you’re going to have to ask him that.” 

She nodded once and slumped back into the soft leather, rubbing her eyes, they hurt without her glasses. She huffed silently to herself. Now she’d be stuck wearing the old pair she didn’t like until she got them replaced. 

Then a shiver went through her as she realized wearing old glasses could be the least of her concerns if Oliver hadn’t gotten there when he did, and a tiny bit of her anger towards him dissipated. 

She felt the beginning of a panic attack and took long deep breaths in an effort to keep it at bay. The last thing she needed was to lose her cool now. 

“Felicity. You okay?” Diggle asked, the concern more than evident in his voice. 

“Yeah, Digg.” she replied without looking at him, and she was never more grateful then when the car slowed and she felt him put the car in park. 

“Want me to walk you up?” he said as he opened her door and handed her her purse from the night before, the keys already fished out. 

“No, I got it.” she said and gave him a tight smile to let him know he wasn’t the one she was upset with. “I’ve got a date with my bathtub. I’ll see you tonight.” 

Digg wisely didn’t say anything and soon enough she had the solid feel of her door behind her. 

Her hands shook as she laid her bag and keys on the kitchen counter and she could barely pour herself a glass of water without it sloshing everywhere. 

She needed a purpose and something to focus on she decided and headed for her bathroom. A good long soak would help her poor bruised body, and hopefully help her process what had just happened. 

She didn’t skimp on the bubbles and soon enough she had sunk to her neck in jasmine scented bliss. 

The last eighteen hours played over and over in her head and she ran the gamut of emotion from stark fear, to desire, if she was being perfectly honest. 

Kissing Oliver hadn’t been the best move, and she had no idea how this was going to affect them in the future, she hoped he’d just forget about it and move on. Maybe that was for the best. 

She must not have heard the first or second knock, because she was jolted from her quiet retreat by the sound of her front door crashing in and a thundering voice yelling “FELICITY!”

She scrambled to find a weapon and all she could come up with was a wooden handled back scrubber. It wasn’t until the voice came a second time that she realized it was Oliver. 

She let out a strangled ‘eep’ as he pushed roughly into her bathroom, her eyes flitting from the handgun he held, to the slightly manic look he had. 

“Get out!” she shouted and threw the back scrubber at him without thought. And then her mouth dropped open as she watched it bounce harmlessly off him, and she realized she’d just assaulted her boss. 

The manic look he had started to fade and it was replaced with something she didn’t want to even address right then. “Get out.” she repeated, and he didn’t say a word as he left the room and shut the door behind him. 

She sank back into the tub, never more grateful for her prescient thought to be liberal with the bubbles earlier and then let out an irritated breath as she pulled the plug and clambered out. 

Once again, the only thing she had to wear was the t-shirt she’d worn home. This being her own apartment she’d had the crazy notion she’d be able to walk from her bathroom to her bedroom in private. 

She tugged the shirt over her head and threw her hair into a haphazard bun before flinging open the door and stalking into the living room. 

What was left of her front door was in pieces, and had a very large, very Oliver sized hole in it. 

“What the hell, Oliver!” she exclaimed, pissed about the door, and the position he’d put her in earlier, and her own stupidity at not paying attention last night. 

He had the decency to look slightly sheepish. “I’ll have Digg fix it.” and she just crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Alright, I’ll fix it.” he conceded and she nodded. 

“Care to explain why I had to do the walk of shame out of the Queen mansion just a little bit ago? I’m sure this is going to look great on my next employee review.” she spat, and was glad to see him look taken aback. 

“I’m sorry.” he said evenly “My mother was supposed to be gone until tomorrow, I didn’t know the meeting got cancelled.” 

“Why did you even take me there in the first place?” she countered “Digg told me you took me back to the lair. Why wouldn’t you just leave me there?” 

Oliver began to pace in the small area in front of her couch and she was acutely aware of how large a man he was. He dominated the space, and even though this was her home she felt almost like she was imposing on him. 

“I couldn’t...I couldn’t let you lay on that table. The one that I’ve laid on when I’ve been shot and injured and...” his voice trailed off and he turned so she couldn’t see his face. “I just needed you to be safe.” 

She swallowed heavily. That was the last thing she had expected him to say. “You could have brought me back here.” she said softly, needing to know why he didn’t. 

He nodded, “I was’t really thinking straight.” he said and she gasped at this admission. 

“I got your phone call, and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t think I was going to get there in time. And then I saw them...” she saw his hands clench into fists, and for the first time she wondered if he’d killed them, and she realized she didn’t want to know. 

“My home is secure. I didn’t think. I just took you there.” his tone had a note of finality to it, as if he dared her to question his reasoning. 

She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her, but she didn’t trust her voice right then. All the fight had gone out of her at his confession. 

The silence stretched between them, and she swallowed heavily, “I’m sorry.” she said, hating how weak she sounded. 

He turned on her then. “What could you possibly be sorry for?” 

Now it was her turn to look away, “I didn’t get an escort to my car, I got distracted, and I let those guys get the drop on me.”

His hands landed solidly on her upper arms and forced her to look at him. The power that flowed through him was tangible and she couldn’t look away. “This wasn’t your fault. This is what we’re trying to do. Trying to make the Glades a place where a woman can walk to her car without an armed guard. If it’s anyone fault, it’s mine for not working faster.” 

He was so close now, he had never been this close before, not on purpose, or when he wasn’t unconscious, and she was having a damn hard time focusing on anything other than his mouth. 

He seemed to recognize their situation just then as well and let go of her, but he didn’t step back. 

Something changed in his eyes, and her breath caught in her throat, “Why’d you kiss me, Felicity.” he whispered

“Why’d you kiss me?” she replied immediately, amazed she had the ability to form words right then. 

He scoffed at her, “Those kisses weren’t the same, and you know it.” 

“I just...I thought it would help keep the cover you created for your mother, that’s all.” she said unconvincingly as the tension between them continued to rise and she had to physically keep herself from closing the distance. 

“Right,” he said, drawing the word out. 

She was saved by the proverbial bell, as what sounded like the ring tone she used for her mother began to play from his pocket. She cocked a quizzical brow his direction and he dug it out and handed her the phone. 

“Got a new one activated and sent over.” he said nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal that he had ordered an exact copy of her phone and knew enough of her information to port all her settings correctly. “You should probably answer it, it’s your mom.”

She stared at the phone in her hand and deliberately let it go to voice mail. “I’ll call her back later. I’m not sure...I’m not sure I can talk to her right now without her knowing something was wrong.” 

He took the phone back from her and laid it on the table, and then took her hands in his, turning them over to inspect the palms. “You ok?” he asked, as a thumb ghosted over a particularly sensitive spot and she couldn’t hold back the hiss. 

“Yeah,” she said automatically and was surprised by the tears that pricked her eyes and the sob that welled in her throat. “You guys got there in time, I’m fine.” but before she could stop them, two tears made their way down her face and one of his hands left hers to wipe them away. 

Her eyes flew shut at the contact, and this one extra emotion was too much. Her head dropped and she couldn’t keep the breakdown at bay any longer. 

She felt herself being pulled in and she didn’t resist. Her hands fisted in his jacket as he held her. One large hand cradled her head and the other was wrapped solidly around her back. He didn’t talk or make any sound at all, he just held her as she fell apart. 

When she finally felt more in control, and her shoulders had stopped shaking, she let out one long ragged breath, and his hand stroked her hair once, then twice and then he was pushing her back slightly. 

“Better?” he asked, no judgement at all in his tone

She only nodded and tried to surreptitiously wipe her face on her sleeve, even though she knew it was futile. 

The Oliver she had started working with a few months ago wouldn’t have done this. He couldn’t have dealt with her while she cried all over him. He was changing, and she thought that maybe she had played a part in that. 

She knew there was something between them. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew they were both aware, and for right now they were going to leave it alone. And she was pretty sure they were both okay with that. For now. 

“How about you get changed and we’ll run by the diner for some lunch, then maybe Digg and I can go get you a new door. And maybe a new security system.” he suggested

She opened her mouth to protest the security system, but she remembered his voice when he’d told her he needed her to be safe and she just gave him a smile and a nod instead. 

“That sounds great.” she replied, and the grin he gave her in response was reward enough for the tiny bit of control she was giving up.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Takes places during 1x17. Enjoy!

 

It had been a month since ‘the incident’, as she’d come to call it. But only to herself. She had no idea what Oliver called it, or if he even thought about it at all. Probably not, she reasoned, he had enough to be worrying about without adding her random mugging to the mix. 

They had been very careful around each other. Nothing overt, or awkward, but she had to admit she’d probably rambled more than usual recently. The kisses hadn’t been mentioned again and she was perfectly fine with that. 

Digg’s approach had been to ramp up her training to the point where Oliver had to finally step in and tell him to take it down a notch. She’d suspected Digg felt partly responsible for what happened to her, although he too never mentioned it. The only way he knew to fix it was give her the tools to ensure it didn’t happen again. Her boys and their hero complexes. 

Expect it did happen again. Helena returned. 

Now, of course, she knew that Oliver being so short with her and all but ordering her out of the lair was for her safety, but at the time she hadn’t understood and it had hurt. Digg had brought her up to speed on Helena and Felicity knew she wasn’t mentally sound when it came to her father. She didn’t know what drew Oliver to the woman, unless it was some sort of displaced need to save himself by saving someone like him. 

But Helena wasn’t like Oliver at all. She didn’t care who she hurt to get what she wanted. Felicity had been around enough to discern that Oliver tried to keep the collateral damage to a minimum, and it bothered him every time he didn’t. 

When Helena had showed up in her office, high powered cross-bow, and head to toe leather Felicity almost dropped the phone. 

Helena used the weapon to gesture from the handset to the base, and Felicity replaced it with a shaking hand, once again hoping that Oliver got her message in time. 

It had been difficult to do what she needed to do to hack the FBI database. Having a cross-bow pointed at your heart while you worked tended to make concentrating hard. 

“So, you and Ollie...” Felicity started, and caught herself. Since when did she call him ‘Ollie’. “He hasn’t really mentioned you.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she was questioning her own sanity. What was wrong with her? Why was she antagonizing the psycho? 

“Hasn’t mentioned you either, sweetheart.” Helena said and twisted Felicity’s blonde ponytail in one hand and gave it a vicious tug. Her head was pulled back at a sharp angle, leaving her throat vulnerable. The tip of the arrow pressed into her flesh and Helena leaned in to whisper, “But he didn’t have to. I saw how badly he wanted you away from me, and I figured you were more than his tech support.” 

Felicity bit her lip to keep from crying out as she felt something warm run down her neck. Helena gave her a violent shove, “Get back to work!”

The closer she got to the information Helena was making her find the more her heart pounded. What was going to happen when she had what she wanted? Felicity’s mouth went dry and she slowed her typing incrementally in hopes she could give Oliver some more time. It had already been close to half an hour and with every second that ticked by, her certainty that he would show up dwindled. 

But eventually she was in, and she knew where the safehouse was. Helena made her bring the address up on a satellite map, and her hands were shaking so badly she almost couldn’t hit the correct keys. 

“Turn around.” Helena commanded, as she grabbed Felicity by her upper arm and dragged her from the chair. 

“You don’t have to do this.” she blurted out, tears blurring her eyes. No matter how much Digg had taught her she knew she was no match for this crazy assassin. 

Helena shoved her hard again and she almost fell. “Put your hands behind your back.” she ordered and Felicity did so. A band of hard plastic was tightened around her wrists and then she was shoved to her knees.

“No! Please!” she managed to gasp out and then there was darkness. 

When she came to her head throbbed and she felt a moment of panic as everything was dark and she couldn’t move. 

And then a wave of relief flooded through her. Helena hadn’t killed her. She had been gagged, with what seemed like her own scarf, and her hands and feet had been bound, but other than that and the blow to her head she was unharmed 

She was on the floor behind her desk and she knew no one would spot her if they were just walking by. There wasn’t a clock visible so she didn’t know how much time had passed since she had called Oliver, and she couldn’t help but feel abandoned by him. 

Felicity realized she may have to get herself out of this mess and worked on getting the gag off first. By scraping her cheek on the carpet she was able to move the scarf enough to where it was finally out of her mouth and hanging loosely around her neck. Even though her breathing hadn’t been affected she still took greedy gulps of air and let her head rest on the ground for a moment. 

Getting her hands and legs free was futile. Helena had wrenched her arms in such a way that she couldn’t sit up. She had no choice but to lay there until someone found her. 

The only sound was the hum of computers and her own breathing, so when the elevator doors dinged from down the hall she could hear them. 

It could be Helena, back to finish the job, or it could be Oliver. She stayed quiet until she heard rapid footsteps and then Oliver’s worried voice calling her name. 

“Oliver!” she said, her voice weaker than she expected. “Oliver!” she said again unnecessarily, but she couldn’t stop herself. Tears pricked her eyes as she realized he’d come for her. 

She couldn’t see him from where she lay, but she felt his hands on her wrists as he cut the tie there and then again on her ankles. “You ok?” he asked but she couldn’t answer immediately. Pain flared through her arms as they fell free and it took her breath away for a minute. She started to sit up and his hands were there, helping her. 

“Hey, are you ok?” he asked again, one large hand cupping her face. She could only stare at him, his eyes locking onto her. She nodded once and leaned into his touch, her hand coming up to grasp his wrist. Then there was a noise from the door and he was standing over her, knife raised to throw, faster than she could process. 

It was just Diggle. And her heart was allowed to go back to it’s normal pace again. She wondered exactly how much stress it could take. 

“I got your call, what happened?” Diggle asked, his hand held out to ward Oliver off, who was just then dropping his arm. 

“Helena” Oliver spat out in reply. 

Felicity used the desk to push herself to standing, but she turned to Oliver to answer. “She wanted the address to the safehouse where her father’s being kept. She made me hack the FBI database. Sorry, Oliver.” she said, and pulled the scarf off her neck and let it fall to the floor. 

His hand skimmed down her arm and held her elbow. “It’s not your fault.” he said with conviction and then his eyes went dark. 

His thumb brushed over her throat and a shiver went down her spine. “She hurt you.” he said with deadly calm. 

“Where else.” he demanded, 

“She just pricked me with the arrow and knocked me out. That’s it.” she assured him

“That’s enough.” he growled and her breath caught at the look on his face. 

He stepped away from her, her hand followed his until he was out of her reach. 

“Oliver, what are you going to do?” Diggle asked

“What I should have done in the first place.” Oliver bit back, “Take care of her.” he said to Diggle, clearly meaning Felicity and not Helena. His eye found hers one more time and then he was gone. 

“Felicity, you okay?” Diggle asked and she nodded 

“Then how about we get you patched up and see what we can do to catch her.” 

The ride back to the lair seemed to take longer than it should and all she could think about was Oliver going after Helena. 

As soon as they were in the basement she headed for her computers and she heard Digg sigh in exasperation. A few quick key strokes and she had pulled up live satellite imagery focused on the safehouse. 

There was no sound, but the bright flares of white could only mean automatic weapon fire. It had already started. 

She wished she could zoom in further or move the camera, but there was nothing she could do. They were stuck with this grainy image and whatever they could make from it. 

Her heart in her throat she studied the feed and then pulled up the SCPD scanner. She heard McKenna call in that she had arrived at the house, and dispatch advised her to wait for backup. 

There seemed to be no movement, and both her and Digg stared at the screen until an ‘Officer down’ call crackled over the air. 

“Oh god.” Felicity said, and sat back with her hand over her mouth. 

Digg’s phone buzzed with a text. “It’s Oliver” he said and handed her the phone. 

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and took the phone, ‘She got away’ was all it read. 

“You don’t need to worry. I think she’s going to disappear for awhile.” Digg said 

“Oh, I...wasn’t.” she stammered out and handed the phone back. It was true, the thought of Helena coming after her again hadn’t crossed her mind. She was worried about Oliver and what her getting away would do to him.

It was while Digg was cleaning up the wound on her neck that they saw that McKenna was the cop who had been injured. Now she was even more concerned that he hadn’t shown back up yet. 

Digg waited with her for another half an hour and then she shoo’d him home. “I’ve got enough left over adrenaline coursing through me to power a small substation, I may as well put it to good use.” she told him and he finally relented. 

Even though this place was cold and cavernous, she felt safe here, and after Digg left she worked in silence for almost two hours. A red blip on the screen that monitored the building’s security system showed the door had been accessed, and even though she didn’t hear Oliver descend the stairs she knew he was there. 

“How’s McKenna?” she asked without turning from her bank of computers. 

He sat in the chair Digg had previously occupied and turned to face her, “Moving to Coast City to live with her sister and do rehab.” he said sullenly

Her fingers stalled over the keyboard, and she pulled them away. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

He didn’t respond and a long silence drifted between them. She actually went back to her work and finished what she had started. The longer he was quiet the more annoyed she got until she couldn’t take it any longer. 

“So where were you?” she asked suddenly, needing him to explain himself to her. She had waited in that office for him to come stop Helena and he never showed. 

He seemed to know exactly what she was talking about and looked ashamed, “I was with McKenna.” he admitted and she actually had to fight from showing how much that hurt, because she knew what he meant when he said ‘with’. 

She nodded once, and set her jaw, “I need to know I can rely on you. I need to know that when your psycho ex is back in town and she’s threatened the people around you that you pick up your phone when I call you! I think I’ve earned that right. I know Diggle’s been training me, but there was no way I could handle her, I didn’t even try, and when she tied my hands behind my back and made me kneel away from her, I knew you were going to find me with an arrow in the base of my skull. So would it kill you to answer your damn phone!” 

His head was tilted back, eyes shut, and his hands were fists resting on his thighs. She could see how he fought for control. He started talking before he looked at her. “Tonight I told McKenna about how hard it’s been, finding balance in my life. I couldn’t tell her specifics, and she thinks it’s just my family and the club opening, but she told me I need to find someone I don’t have apologize to.” He took a deep breath and then leaned forward and took her hand in his. “At the time that made sense, but the more I’ve thought about it I think she’s wrong. And after the conversation I just had with Tommy...” he looked broken then, and she felt a flash of guilt that she’s brought this up right then. 

“I think having to apologize means something, it means you’re accountable to someone. It means your actions affect them. And it means you’re not alone.” 

She was quite sure she wasn’t breathing any more. She had never expected him to open up like this. 

“When I was on the island I could only rely on myself. I had no other choice. But now...I can see where having a team has done me good, in more ways than one. So, Felicity Smoak, would it be alright if you were the person I can apologize to?” 

This was big. This was huge. And she knew her mouth moved up and down a few times with no sound coming out because he was starting to grin at her. She let out a long exhale to settle herself and then tightened her fingers around him. “It would definitely be alright.” she replied and gave him a bright smile.

His grin widened at her words before he suddenly got sober again. “I’m sorry you got hurt.” his eyes dropped to the small bandage on her neck. 

“I’m okay.” she reassured him, “But thank you anyways.” knowing he needed to absolve himself, even if it was for something small. 

The air was heavy between them, and she was suddenly very aware of how close they were. 

She made to move back but he held her in place and then leaned in closer. Her pulse jumped as she waited, and then he gave her the softest of kisses, much like he had at his house when all of this had started. 

Except this time when she looked at him, she saw the real him, not the playboy front he put on display for the rest of the world. This time he meant it. 

“Thank you,” he said, very deliberately 

She wasn’t sure she could trust her voice then so she mirrored his actions instead, and heard his soft intake of breath as her lips ghosted over the corner of his mouth. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, and as they separated and she went back to work, she wondered if she really knew what she had gotten herself into, and knew almost immediately it was already too late.


	3. chapter 3

A/N: From episode 1x18. Enjoy

 

She wasn’t used to failing. The signal jumping around like that made no sense, and she planned on figuring out why, even if it took her all night. She hadn’t meant to bite Digg’s head off, but she was pretty sure she wasn’t very good company right then. 

Felicity didn’t particularly want Oliver to come back anytime soon. He’d barked at her over the comm, and he’d had every right to. But she didn’t think she could handle a dressing down. 

She leaned against the metal table studying an arrow she had picked up. She didn’t come over here much, leaving the weapons to Oliver and Diggle. But she couldn’t sit in front of the computers just then. Either they had failed her or she had failed them, she wasn’t sure. 

She was worried about him. His attitude the past few weeks had been slowly devolving. Everything was focused on the mission. He had her tracking five different names last week until she finally had to tell him it was too much. And then he’d stalked off to train. Again. 

Digg hadn’t said a word to her about it, but she knew it hadn’t escaped his notice either. Oliver was becoming hard and detached and she didn’t know how to fix that. She knew his failed relationship with McKenna, and Tommy’s poor reaction to learning he was the Hood had affected him, but she was only just beginning to realize how much. She also didn’t know where she stood with him anymore. She thought they had made...a connection? Come to an agreement? Had a mutual attraction they were both actively pretending didn’t exist? But how he had been lately was seriously making her rethink that. 

Oliver wasn’t quiet when he came in, his footsteps on the metal stairs rang out in the large space. He slowed when he noticed her, but she didn’t look up. 

“Where’s Diggle?” he asked, as he set his helmet down and came closer. 

“I asked him to leave me alone.” she said sullenly, “In my loud voice.” 

She waited for him to lecture her on how he relied on her when he was in the field and how she had let them all down. 

“It’s not your fault.” was not what she expected. 

“I was the one who was supposed to find Carnahan, and I was the one who sent you that bogus location.” she replied, her voice shaky, “I’ve never seen anyone die.” 

He’s closer now. “Hey, this is the...thing, with what we do. Sometimes we lose.” 

“I’ve never lost before though.” she says, still twirling the arrow, until he plucked it from her hands and forced her to focus on something else. She sighed and turned toward him. “I was top of my class in high school, top in college.” she saw him nodding and cut him off, “No. I mean valedictorian top. Best internship. Best job placement after graduation. Won every science fair I entered, including one I only found out about two days before and I used my mom’s microwave and her new hairdryer to make a...well, I mean, I won the science fair, but then I had to use my birthday money to buy her a new hairdryer because she didn’t want me to try and put it back together even though I totally could have.” 

He watched her, patiently, while she went on this ramble about being smart until finally he had to cut her off. “Felicity. Believe it or not, I do understand.” 

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him over her glasses giving him her ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ face. 

“I may not have been top of my class, but I was the son of billionaires. I got everything I wanted and then some. And if for some reason I didn’t I just had to wave enough cash until I did.” she wondered if he even noticed that he had used the past tense to refer to himself. She knew that the Oliver that she saw was quite different than the one everyone else got, and she knew why-to an extent. 

He just stared at her expectantly, and she jolted out of her own thoughts as she realized he expected a response. 

“I get that. I’m not sure it’s exactly comparable, spoiled rich kid...super smart...” she mimed weighing things on a scale with her hands and he cracked a smile. 

“Point taken.” he conceded. 

“It’s just...” she turned her back to the table again and snatched another arrow shaft to fiddle with, “How would I tell someone about today? If I was with someone, which I’m not. But if I was, how would I tell them? I couldn’t.” and even though she was talking about herself she was talking about him too, and that’s what the crux of these past few weeks have been for him. 

The wait for his response dragged out, and then he was beside her, close but not quite touching. And then he took this arrow from her as well. “Sometimes we lose.” he said quietly, “But if you ever need someone to talk to about your day, you can talk to me.” and before she could even attempt to form a response, he was gone. 

 

The day hadn’t gotten any better. Sure they had figured out the guy was using the old subway line, and that made her feel better about the signal she couldn’t pinpoint from earlier, but when his last victim ended up being Thea’s boyfriend the stakes were almost too high. She had tried to find a time to talk to Oliver after it was over, but he had changed and headed up to the club before she could. 

She hung around a little longer, doing some routine maintenance she’d been putting off due to Oliver’s fervor, and to be honest, she was hoping he’d come back to the lair at some point. But after an hour she realized he probably wasn’t and she was wiped out from the day. 

Felicity exited the club from the side door, and pulled her coat tight around her in the chilly air. She saw Oliver walking past the valet stand seemingly lost in thought, which wasn’t like him. 

He looked forlorn, and she was about to go to him when suddenly everything about him changed and he turned on the spot. A woman had approached him. Long brown hair, pretty. Very pretty. Dressed professionally. Everything instinct she had told her this was Laurel. 

She watched quietly as he and Laurel talked. She ached for him when he’d changed his face so quickly for her, covering his pain and masking it behind a quick smile and a bright greeting. 

Felicity didn’t know what they were talking about. She only knew the bare basics of his past with Laurel. She knew there was a sister that died on the yacht he was on, and that he was supposed to have been dating Laurel at the time. Old Oliver didn’t seem like someone she’d like very much. 

Laurel must have said something that threw him because he lost the carefully schooled face for only a second, and recovered quickly with Laurel none the wiser. She started to walk away and he said something that made her turn back, when she shook her head no to whatever he had asked it was like the fight had gone out of him. 

Felicity waited for Laurel to catch a cab and then she slowly approached Oliver. 

“You ok?” she asked quietly, and he was half way into giving her the same fake smile he had just given Laurel. 

“Don’t.” she said abruptly, cutting him off. “Don’t bother with the false bravado, I know the real you, remember.”

His face fell immediately and he turned slightly away from her. 

“The hood and the paint aren’t the only disguises you use.” she said softly, and reached her hand up unconsciously to brush against his temple. His eyes slammed shut at the contact and she froze. 

His hand covered hers and lowered it, but he didn’t let go. “I don’t have many people I can be myself around. And I thought that by focusing on just being the Hood that would be enough, but it’s not. I’m sorry if I’ve been less than pleasant lately.” 

“Apology accepted.” she said, remembering their conversation about needing someone to apologize too, and she wondered if he remembered it as well. 

“What did she tell you?” she asked suddenly and his head popped up to look at her, “It’s just, I was about to come over and say good night and then she came up, it was Laurel right, the Laurel.” at his nod she continued, “I just thought she might have said something that upset you because for a moment you looked...really shocked, but you covered it quick, I don’t think she noticed.” she said quickly, in hopes she hadn’t made him think he had given something away. “I’m sorry, it’s really none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked.” she went to pull back, but his hand held hers tightly.

“It’s ok. You were right. She uh...she told me her mother was back in town because she thought her sister was still alive. Sarah, the one who...” the hand that wasn’t holding her rubbed over the back of his neck and he let out a long exhale.

“Yeah, I know.” she said, saving him from having to say it. “She’s not alive, is she?” 

“No. She uh...no. She couldn’t be, she didn’t make it onto the lifeboat.” his eyes clouded over with the memory, and she stepped closer to him. 

“I’m sorry. But why would Laurel tell you that then, if she wasn’t alive?” Felicity felt herself get defensive on his behalf, it seemed like a cruel thing to do. 

“It’s ok. I made the decision a long time ago that anything Laurel needed to throw at me about Sarah was fine, I deserve all of it.” he said immediately and she knew he really meant it. 

She moved her hand in his so their fingers twined and palms touched and had to swallow hard when her stomach flipped at the contact. “The old Oliver may have deserved it, but the new one doesn’t. If you ever need to tell someone about your day, you can tell me.” she said, and before she could lose her nerve she rose up on her toes and brushed a kiss across his cheek. “Good night, Oliver.” she whispered


	4. chapter 4

A/N: Continues with 1x19. Enjoy!

 

Felicity had been anxious since Oliver had realized the Count hadn’t escaped and must still be at the mental institute. Her skills weren’t needed on this mission which left her with nothing official to do after he left. Digg continued to be unreachable, and that worried her as well. 

The lair was still more storage facility than high tech operations center for a vigilante hero, and she decided to put her time to good use by fixing her computers. Having only her tablet to use had been frustrating. 

She stopped every now and then and checked to see if she had missed Digg, but it was silent. She was lost in setting up the cables just the way she liked when her text alert dinged. 

It was from Digg and read: ‘Get IV and flush ready’ 

Her heart dropped. She wanted to call him, ask a hundred questions and know what was going to greet her when they came through the door, but she knew he didn’t have time for that just then. She abandoned the bank of computers and scanned the space. 

Their med supplies were still scattered throughout the lair, disguised under tarps and hidden behind boxes of liquor. Knowing those two she should have spent her time putting that back to rights instead. 

Adrenaline was a wonderful thing, and she had the bare basics of what she needed found and ready to go quicker than she thought. When the door to the basement slammed open she had just started to insert the tubing into the saline bag. 

Oliver came down first. He leaned hard on the railing, and his bow almost dragged on the steps, but he was moving under his own power and she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. 

Digg looked like he’d been roughed up some, but was in better shape than his boss. 

“What happened.” she asked, and rushed forward immediately. Oliver pulled the quiver over his shoulder and thrust it and the bow into her hands before he passed by her without saying a word 

She looked at Digg in confusion and he just shook his head slowly. “It wasn’t the Count. It was his doctor. He figured out a way to reverse engineer the drug and tried to kill Oliver with it.” 

“Oh god!” she gasped, and pushed the bow and quiver at Digg. 

Oliver was just standing, swaying actually, and she wasted no time in shoving him into the nearest chair. The fact that he didn’t fight her was worrisome. 

“Has he had the antidote?” she asked Digg, as she readied the IV. Inserting needles into veins wasn’t something she liked doing, but Digg had insisted she learn. 

“He had the dose on him that he made earlier, but the stuff the doctor gave him was in liquid form, not a pill, and I have no idea at what concentration. Getting it out of his system as soon as possible seemed like the best thing to do.” Digg explained and sat down stiffly 

“Right.” she agreed, and tried to will her hands to stop shaking. 

Oliver still sat, silent, and he didn’t so much as blink when she fought to push the sleeve up on his disguise. This was the first time she’d had to do this under pressure, but she took a deep breath and focused on her task, and the needle was in and taped down before she knew it. 

“Ha! Look at that! Go me!” she said happily, and rolled the wheel to start the fluids flowing. Digg gave her half a smile but Oliver didn’t acknowledge her. 

There was a tension between Digg and Oliver that she didn’t like, and she didn’t think she was going to be getting any answers from them that night. With a sigh she opened the med cart and grabbed two ice packs. 

“Heads up.” she said to Digg and tossed one in his direction where he caught it easily. 

“Thanks.” Digg said, “I think I’m going to head over and see Carly tonight. You’ve got this.” and before she could voice a protest he was gone. 

“Ok, then. Guess it’s just you and me, big guy.” Felicity said to the still quiet Oliver. 

His hood was up, and when she pushed it back he flinched as her hand brushed the back of his head. 

“Oliver.” she said softly, “You need to talk to me.” 

Finally, his eyes raised to hers and a stranger stared back. For the first time since she had met him she felt frightened, and she wished Digg hadn’t left already. 

“I didn’t kill him.” his voice was rough and slightly slurred

“Didn’t kill who, the doctor?” 

“No. I killed him.” he said coldly and a shiver went through her. “I didn’t kill the Count.” 

“Why not?” the question was out of her mouth before she could stop herself

“It would have been murder.” and her Oliver was back

She just nodded, “You’re right.” 

His gaze fell away, and she turned her attention to the back of his head. She skimmed along the close cropped hair until she found a lump, and winced for him at the size of it. 

“Did you get knocked out?” she asked, not able to keep the surprise out of her voice.

“Yeah, guy surprised me from behind.” he admitted and she wisely chose not to inquire any further. 

She grabbed the second ice pack and placed it gently on the spot, her other hand resting between the open hood and his collarbone to steady him. 

He leaned into her slightly and when she looked down his eyes were shut. A flare of panic went through her and she tossed the ice pack to the side and pulled the cart with the heart and respiration monitor on it up to him. She flicked switches, and found the leads. 

Without thinking she unzipped his shirt and pulled it open. The tattoos she barely noticed anymore, but the scars still got to her, especially the one high on his left shoulder that was still slightly red, even after all this time. 

As she hooked the leads to his chest she noticed a small hole with a thin trickle of dried blood, right over his heart. “Holy crap, you Pulp Fictioned yourself!” she said aloud even though there was no one to hear her. 

Injecting anything straight into the heart couldn’t be good, even if it was to save your life. 

With the pulse oximeter attached to his finger, and the heart monitor turned on she watched the screen until it showed a normal rhythm, even if it was a bit slow. She cleaned up his smaller scrapes and cuts and let her hand rest on his chest. The rise and fall of his breath, and the warm skin the reminder she needed that he was alive. 

Her legs were wobbly, at everything she’d had to do and the worry that it wasn’t enough. She drew a chair up next to him and held the ice pack back in place. And she waited. 

The bag of fluids was nearly empty when his eyes flicked open. She still had one arm resting on his right shoulder so she could hold the ice in place, and the other hand cupped around the left side of his jaw to give him support. 

Their faces were close and she held her breath as he focused on her. 

“Felicity,” he said slowly, sounding confused

“Hey,” she replied, “How do you feel?”

“Like I was on a really bad trip.” he admitted. He blinked several times and lifted the arm with the IV in it up to rub his eyes. When he lowered it he seemed to notice the IV and everything else he was hooked up to. 

“Did you do this?” he asked

“Yeah, Digg made sure you got back, but...” she bit her lip to stop herself from speaking. She didn’t want to rat Digg out. “You seemed out of it, but ok when he left. But...then you passed out and I was worried so I put you on the monitors and I didn’t know if you were going to wake up or if you needed more of the antidote, or maybe something else. Or maybe it was your head. I mean, it looks like you got hit pretty hard, which surprised me since you’re like a ninja, and I didn’t think that happened to ninjas. And then I saw where you stuck the needle into yourself, just like in the movie, and that’s when I wondered if maybe you’d damaged your heart. But that’s way above my paygrade, so...” as she’d rambled her eyes had glazed over with tears, and with him awake and talking and not scaring her anymore, the reality of the past hour hit her full force. She tried to stop it, she had cried more in the past six months since she’d started working with him than in the six years prior, but it was no use. 

She made to get up, under the guise of unhooking him from the heart monitor, but his hand caught arm. 

“You did good.” he assured her and then tugged her forward. It was awkward, and slightly uncomfortable with the arm of the chair between them, but she didn’t care. As soon as he had pulled her down she didn’t resist. Her forehead came to rest in the space between his neck and his shoulder and she pressed herself in. 

She let out one long shuddering breath, and tried to get control of her emotions. She felt a broad hand span her back, and she turned her face into him further. When she breathed out again the hand on her back tightened. A peek through her lashes at the monitor let her know that his heart rate had increased. 

She gave herself one more long moment and then sat up, and adjusted her glasses “Thanks” 

“Always.” he replied and it hung between them, the connection they had that she was too scared to pursue, at least not yet. 

He let her take the leads off and remove the IV even though he was perfectly capable of doing it himself. 

Oliver just sat there, lost in thought, and she had a million questions she wanted to ask. So she started with the one that affected her the most. “What’s going on with you and Digg?” 

“Nothing.” he replied automatically and she resisted the urge to yank the lead she’d been gently pulling off. She just looked at him over her glasses and he sighed and leaned back further into the chair. 

“Doesn’t he have as much right to avenge his brother’s killer, as you do with your list, or whoever is making vertigo? He’s not just your personal soldier.” she was upset for Digg, but she was torn because she understood where both of them were coming from. 

He shot a glare her direction and tore off the lead she’d been working on, but before he could bolt from the chair she put her palm on his chest and held him in place. She knew if he really wanted out, she wasn’t going to stop him. 

“No. You don’t get to run.” she licked her lips nervously and locked her eyes on his. She was in this now, she might as well finish it. “You owe it to him. And you know it. You’re not on the island anymore, Oliver so stop acting like you are.” and without waiting for his response she spun on her heel and left him there. 

She only made it as far as her desk. All she wanted to do was shut off the computers and grab her stuff. She didn’t know what had made her talk to him like that. He made her feel and say things she’d never imagined before and it left her unbalanced and out of control and it was probably best for her to just leave right then. 

“Felicity,” his voice gave nothing away, and she had to silently admire the control he had.

She pulled her coat on and put her purse on her shoulder before she turned to face him. He stood only a few feet from her, his shirt still undone, leather pants still on, and she hated her traitorous thoughts for straying to how damn good he looked right then. 

“You’re right.” he said, “I’ll talk to Digg.” 

She just nodded and went to walk past him to the door, but as she stepped by him she laid a hand on his upper arm, “Thanks for not dying on me. And thanks for not killing the Count.” 

Their eyes met, and a bolt of desire went through her at the look his held. He leaned forward, so slowly, until his cheek brushed hers, and he could whisper in her ear. “Thanks for saving me.” and god help her she didn’t know if he meant that night or something else. 

His lips grazed her cheek as he pulled back, and she tightened the grip she had on her purse strap so she wouldn’t do anything foolish: like kiss him the way she really wanted to.

She took a deep breath before she spoke, “We are going to have to talk about this.” she said. 

“We are.” he replied calmly

“But not right now.” she stated

“But not right now.” he parroted back in agreement.

“Good night, Oliver.” she said, and as she finally made her way to the stairs, her mind whirled with exactly how that conversation could go.


	5. chapter 5

A/N: 1x21. Enjoy!

 

Her ankles were admittedly a bit wobbly as she walked up the stairs from the lair and they exited out the back of the foundry. She was certain she wanted to do this, and she was certain she was their only choice, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t scared. 

She knew Oliver still wasn’t sold on the idea, but he didn’t have any other options. The play of emotions over his face as she’d stepped out in the dress he’d had delivered was more than she wanted to dwell on right then. His abandonment of Diggle last week for Laurel had shaken her faith in whatever it was they had or had the potential of having. But moments when he looked at her like he just had made her feel even more like she was on uneven ground. She kept putting off that conversation they needed to have and she wondered if she had stalled too long. 

As they walked across the back lot to the car he had hired his hand kept coming to rest on her lower back and the shiver she felt wasn’t due to the night air. 

They went over the plan one last time. She had it down, but it calmed her some to go over it again, and she knew he needed it. 

“So, hopefully I get what we need and this all leads us to Walter.” she said again, “That is, assuming I only get the friendly warning, and not a bullet.” her voice shook as she finally let herself verbalize what they had both been thinking. 

His hand caught her elbow and turned her to face him, “Hey, you don’t have to do this.” and she knew he meant it. She knew if she said she couldn’t go through with it he’d let her walk right back into the lair and work all night trying to find a way to hack into Alonzo’s files even though she knew it wouldn’t work. And she knew he wouldn’t be angry, or judge her, or hold it against her. 

And that’s why she had to do it. 

“Yes, I do.” she said with conviction and his eyes shut tight. 

When he opened them her breath caught in her throat. She’d never seen a look that intense before, directed at her. She could see him struggle with what to say and finally a hand came up and cupped the side of her face. 

“Ok. But remember, I will be right outside if you need me.” all she could do was nod as his head came forward, and she could have sworn he was going to kiss her. 

But he didn’t. His forehead rested against hers for a second, “I’m not going to let you get hurt.” he said softly, and she didn’t know if he was saying it to her or to himself. 

She gave him a tight smile, “Wish us luck.” and then she forced herself to pull away and head straight to the car where one of the other Queen family staff was waiting to chauffeur her to the casino. 

The five minute ride gave her enough time to collect herself, and when she stepped out of the sleek silver car she was calm. Oliver’s voice in her ear telling her the password provided the last bit of confidence she needed. 

Their plan went exactly as they predicted. She did well at the table, caught the attention of the pit boss, and was ‘asked’ to go to the back room. She had actually started to have some fun. The hard grasp on her elbow as she was drug down the back hall put a damper on all of that. 

Her nervousness worked for her. She moved her hands around a lot as she sat in front of Alonzo, and she was able to slip the copying device onto the back of the computer with no one detecting her. 

When he told her to leave she actually thought they had gotten away with it. She actually thought she’d be able to walk out the door, get into the car, and head back to the lair with all the information she’d need to find Walter. 

The rest was sort of a blur. She remembered her stomach dropping as Alonzo pulled her earpiece out and crushed it beneath his heel. Then it didn’t seem like it was that long before gunfire and screams could be heard from the casino floor. 

She knew Oliver was coming for her, but Alonzo or one of his men could easily do away with her before he got there. 

Alonzo had her by the back of the neck with a gun pointed at her head when Oliver burst in. She tried to break away but Alonzo’s fingers dug in and she winced in pain.

She tried not to look at Oliver, but his eyes slid over hers and the emotion laid bare for her was overwhelming. He quickly looked away and she saw his jaw tighten. 

She recognized the bolt Oliver shot into the dart board and she squeezed her eyes tight before it exploded. Nothing hurt as she hit the ground, and she had the distracted thought that she would probably feel it all later. 

Felicity scrambled to her feet and watched as Oliver hauled Alonzo up before him. The deep voice he used as the Hood, was definitely intimidating. And then Alonzo spilled what he knew. That this entire operation tonight was for naught because Walter was dead. 

Walter was dead. That knowledge was too much on top of everything else that had just happened. Her hands were shaking, actually, her entire body was shaking, and everything tunneled down to Oliver. 

He pushed back the hood and locked shocked, hurt eyes on her. These weren’t the eyes of the Hood, they were the eyes of the Oliver she got to see. She tried to say something, but words wouldn’t come, and all she could do was shake her head in disbelief. 

Two long strides and he had pulled her to him. She collapsed into his chest with a muffled sob. “I’m sorry.” he said roughly, and all she could do to protest was numbly shake her head. 

There was no time for any more comfort, as sirens could already be heard. He let out a breath and pushed her back. His thumbs brushed tears off her cheeks and she leaned into the contact. 

“Go out the back, the car’s waiting. It’s going to take you home.” he voice was hard, but she knew it wasn’t her he was upset about. She shook her head but he cut her off. “I need you to go home.” and there was a break in his tone. It was small, and so quick she didn’t think anyone else would have notice, but she did. 

“Ok.” she agreed, and he pressed a hard kiss into her forehead. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, “Now go.” 

She didn’t look back. The fire alarm began to wail as she pushed out the door but she didn’t stop. Down a set of metal steps, across a dingy alley, and the car was right where it was supposed to be. 

The dark cocoon of the sedan interior engulfed her and she was grateful. She wrapped her arms around herself and sunk into the soft leather seat. Oliver must have already given the man her address because he never asked her for directions. 

The car pulled to a stop and she actually accepted the driver’s hand as she got out, “Will you need assistance to your door, Ms. Smoak?” he asked and she mutely shook her head no. 

However, when she did get to her door she realized the clutch she had taken to the casino was still on the floor of Alonzo’s office, and her purse with her keys and her phone and everything else was still at the lair. Luckily the security system Oliver had insisted on installing had a key pad entry and she could still get into her apartment. 

Now that she was home and safe her thoughts began to stray and if she even paused she felt the gun to her head, or heard Alonzo saying ‘I heard the gun shot’ and then she couldn’t breathe for a moment. So she kept moving. 

The red dress fell in a heap on her bedroom floor and she couldn’t bring herself to move it just then. She tugged her oldest and most comfortable sweatshirt over her head and gasped at a sudden sting of pain. 

When she took it back off and twisted to look in the mirror she could see tiny scrapes from where the arrow in the dart board had exploded. There was no way she was going to let Oliver know about that, she vowed silently. However, the finger marks from where Alonzo had held her were starting to bruise and that she wouldn’t be able to hide. 

With a sigh she pulled out the elaborate pins she had used to keep her hair swept to the side and then put it up into her standard ponytail. She was still shaky and seriously considered calling a cab to take her back to Verdant, but Oliver had told her to go home. 

The excess energy she had was new to her. She wondered if this was how he felt every time he got back from a mission, if this was normal or if she was just handling this very badly. 

The minutes ticked by and she started and stopped several things she thought might take her attention off of Oliver and what had happened, but nothing worked. 

She ended up pacing, and went over the evening a hundred times trying to figure out if she could have done something differently, or found a way into Alonzo’s files remotely. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

The voice came from behind her and she jumped in shock and spun around, one hand over her racing heart and one over her mouth in a failed attempt to muffle a scream. 

It was Oliver. He was still dressed as the Hood, and he looked more broken and damaged than she had ever seen him. 

“Oliver!” she exclaimed, “You scared me to death! How did you even get in here?” 

He didn’t answer, but he dropped the bag she had left at the lair on the couch and let his bow and quiver rest on the side. 

“I brought your tablet. I need you to pull up Malcolm Merlyn’s phone records from tonight.” he was stiff, and closed off and she couldn’t help it when she walked right up to him and laid a hand on his arm. 

“Oliver, what happened?” she began, but he shook her off and took a step back. Tears pricked her eyes and she looked at him, stunned. 

“I just need you to do what I asked, Felicity.” he said harshly

“No.” 

He advanced on her then, but she held her ground. “Not until you tell me what has you so upset.” 

He glared down at her, the hood still pulled forward, but there was enough light that she could see him. With a shaky hand she reached upwards and took hold of the fabric waiting for him to stop her at any moment, but he didn’t. 

She pushed it back and immediately let out a long exhale when she could see all of him, “What happened?” she asked quietly and felt the rough stubble of his beard scrape her palm as she touched his cheek. 

“Walter’s alive. And my mother knew about it the entire time.” he finally said, in a voice she’d never heard before and she had trouble processing what he had just told her. 

“Oh, god.” she breathed, “He’s alive, and...” she couldn’t finish the sentence at the pain that flashed across his face. 

“Merlyn made a call and showed my mother a closed captioned video feed of Walter. If you can trace the call, I can go get him.” if you didn’t know him you’d never know he was talking about his own mother and the father of his best friend, but she could see how very close to the edge he was with this. 

She needed to make him better, it was what she did; fix problems. Unconsciously her hand traced up to his temple, around his ear, and came to rest against the side of his neck. “I’m so sorry.” she whispered, and his eyes shuttered close at her words. 

His hand covered hers and brought it down, “Not now.” he said, almost pleaded really, but he gave her hand a squeeze and stepped back from her gently. 

She nodded once and tried to calm her erratic heart before she picked up her tablet and got to work. 

Oliver took over the pacing for her as she did what she did best. “What time was the call made?” she asked

“Right around 10:30.” 

Three taps later and she was in, “Here, looks like an apartment complex in Bludhaven.” not able to keep the derision out of her voice. 

“Can you get me a satellite view, I need to know what I’m walking in to.” he was over her shoulder now, crowding in to see the information on her screen. 

“Not on here I can’t.” she said apologetically, “I’d need to go back...” Oliver had jerked back sharply, and she could feel the frustration radiating from him. She feared for the contents of her apartment when a thought struck her. 

“Wait! No need to get all growly. I’ve got an idea.” she said and put the tablet to the side before she headed into her bedroom. 

She didn’t think he’d follow her, but when she turned the light on he was right there. “Oh, you’re here. Ok, well, I just figured I could use my own laptop. I don’t like using it for Hood stuff because if it ever got stolen or taken or something I didn’t want anyone to be able to track back to us, but it’s just as powerful as the ones at the lair and I can always wipe the history as soon as we’re done.” she lost him half way through and she saw him cutting glances around the space, taking in her things. Then she saw his gaze land on the dress she’d left on the floor. 

Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment of being caught. “I’m sorry.” she said immediately and crossed to pick it up. “I just...I got back and I just wanted it off, and I was going to hang it up later, I swear. I know it was expensive. I mean, it’s probably worth more than I make in a month and I don’t want you to think I wasn’t grateful for the loan, because it was a gorgeous dress, but now I just...” her voice trailed off as the garment was tugged from her hands and tossed onto the bed. 

“I don’t care about the dress, Felicity.” 

And dear god, her heart actually flipped at his words. She shut her eyes tight as a vision of his hands and that dress being put on the bed happened in a very different scenario, and she had to force it out of her mind. The time was not right to be thinking about that.

She made herself take a deep breath and when she looked again he was right in front of her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ask. Are you okay?” he said seriously. A hand came up to rest on side of her neck and she skittered to the side. In a flash she was back in that office with Alonzo holding onto her. 

“Sorry.” she said quickly, and hoped he’d let it go

But he didn’t. His look swept over her, trying to find what he missed, and the fingers that were unconsciously stroking over the quickly developing bruises were a dead give away. 

His fingers joined hers, and she froze. “He hurt you.” he said in a low rumble and she tried to ignore the tingle of electricity that seemed to follow in the wake of his touch. 

“Yeah,” was all she was able to get out, her hand tangled in his and she couldn’t stop herself from sweeping her thumb across his palm before she pulled away. 

She cleared her throat and sat cross legged on her bed with the computer in front of her. 

It took her a couple of minutes to pull up the correct satellites and the coordinates she wanted, but soon enough she had zoomed in enough to tell the place was heavily guarded. 

She turned the screen so he could see as well, and worried her bottom lip with her teeth as he studied the building. “Only one guard on the roof.” she said helpfully and he hummed his agreement. 

“Guess that’s how I’m getting in.” he said 

“But there are no other building to jump off of, how are you going to even get there?” she asked in confusion and pushed the computer to the side to follow him as he left the room to gather his gear. 

“I have my ways.” he assured her, and she had a feeling she didn’t want to know. 

The quiver was strapped on and he held the bow in his hand. 

“Why don’t you go out the fire escape.” she suggested and nodded to the window behind him. 

He was going to vanish without a word but she couldn’t leave it at that. Just as he was undoing the latch she called out his name and rushed forward. 

Without thought to consequence, or the fact that they hadn’t had that talk yet, or that she knew he was still hung up on Laurel, she braced her hands on his shoulders, rose on her toes and kissed him. 

This wasn’t hesitant, or awkward, and he responded in kind. She could feel the hard line of the bow on her back as he wrapped his arms around her, and she sunk into him. He took over quickly and she let him, and didn’t regret it for a second. 

They were both panting slightly when she broke contact and pushed back, and she didn’t say a word. Instead she very deliberately pulled his hood up and stepped out of his arms. 

“Let me know when you find him.” she said in a voice that some how didn’t betray how chaotic she really felt. 

He gave her one, barely perceptible nod and then he was gone. 

She let out a long shuddering breath and covered her lips with her hand as a cold wind whipped through the space and drew her from her stupor. She went to close the window and then, once again, she was forced to wait.


	6. chapter 6

A/N: more from 1x21. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

 

The hours after he had left via her fire escape were some of the longest of her life. He was going into that building alone, and in a headspace she didn’t like. She couldn’t image what damage the knowledge that his mother and Malcolm Merlyrn were in on Walter’s disappearance together could be doing to him right now. 

So she waited to pick up the pieces. He hadn’t let her in yet; not all the way. But she had her ways, whether he realized it or not, and he was slowly trusting her more and more with his real self. 

She wanted to second guess kissing him. A large part of her was shocked that she wasn’t, but that was probably the only thing she wasn’t confused about. It was the most right thing she’d done in a long while, and if the way he had responded was any indication, he knew it too. 

When she couldn’t stand it any longer she pulled the satellite feed back up and watched. Without Diggle and no time to set up a comm link he was in there without back up and without her in his ear. 

She wasn’t expecting to see the dark shape float down from the sky and she actually gasped aloud as she realized he had parachuted in. “You have some explaining to do, Mr. Queen.” she muttered under her breath, and watched as he took care of the single guard on the roof without incident. 

And then he was inside and she had no idea what was going on. Her heart was in her throat and it stayed there. After thirty minutes she couldn’t take it any longer and she forcibly shut the screen and dug her phone out of her bag. 

Finally she found herself sitting in the middle of her bed just staring at her phone, willing it to ring or alert her to a text, or anything that would let her know that he got out safe and that Walter was alive as well.

One hour ticked by and then a second. It was well past midnight, her body was sore from being thrown to the casino floor, and the adrenaline surge that had helped get her through the night was now having the opposite effect. 

She didn’t know when she had lost the battle with her heavy eyes, but when she blinked them back open, the blurry red numbers on her clock read quarter after three. Her phone was still clutched in her hand and in a rush she remembered why she’d been trying to stay awake. 

With fumbling hands she typed in her passcode and immediately checked her messages but they were blank. 

“Oh god,” she moaned, “He didn’t make it out.” 

Her mind froze, and her eyes swam with tears, but she quickly shook it off and scrambled to get out of bed. She’d freak out later. She didn’t know what she was going to do. Pound on Digg’s door at three in the morning and demand he go recover Oliver? Figure out a way to get him back herself? It was a testament to her state of mind right then that the latter was even something she considered. 

She was halfway to her closet when he spoke. 

“I got him.” 

She didn’t scream, she just spun and saw him, lurking in the corner of her room. 

She wanted to throw herself at him, but something about his bearing made her approach slowly. 

The chair she had in the corner had his jacket thrown over the arm and she wondered how long he’d been there. He wasn’t dressed as the Hood any longer. As she got closer she could see he was in jeans and a pullover, but his face was still in shadow. 

She was an arms reach away and she wanted to touch him, needed to touch him, and her hand had already begun to reach out but she pulled back when she finally got a good look at him. 

“Oh, Ollie.” she breathed out, not even noticing she’d used his nickname, something she had never done in front of him before. 

Her fingers twisted together in an effort to keep her need at bay. She’d seen him at the edge before, or at least she thought she had. This was so far past that she didn’t know if she’d be able to bring him back. 

But he was here, in her apartment, and that meant something. 

“Is Walter alright?” was the first thing she asked, as the horrible thought passed through her that maybe that’s why he looked like this. 

He didn’t respond for a long moment and then he nodded tightly. “He’s at the hospital. Thea and...my mother are there with him.” he could barely bring himself to say the words. “I ran into Malcolm Merlyn on my way out.” his jaw tightened and his fists clenched and she could see the pent up need to lash out and destroy something before his emotions got the better of him. That was usually something that Digg took care of. 

And then he deflated. He sunk into the chair behind him and she took a half a step closer. 

His elbows rested on his knees and his head fell forward into his hands. “I had to stand there, and listen to him ask about Walter like he wasn’t the reason why he’d been held in a hole for six months.” 

She couldn’t stop herself now, and one hand fell on the back of his head. 

“I had to watch while my mother rushed into that hospital room like she cared what happened to him. Like she didn’t know he’d been alive.” he was practically vibrating now and her hand coasted over his hair to the nape of his neck. 

She didn’t speak, she knew he needed to unload this, and there wasn’t anything she could say right then that could make the betrayal any better. 

His silence was long, but she didn’t dare say a thing, she just kept running her fingers through the cross cropped hair and rubbing the tight cords of muscle that felt like iron. 

She felt him take a deep shuddering breath, and then he was looking up at her, his eyes wet, and he looked so lost. 

“Am I a monster?” he asked, and she gasped, her hand falling still at his question “I was raised by one apparently, so what does that make me?” 

He was asking her to absolve him. He was asking her to forgive him for sins that were not his own. He was asking her to fix him. 

She took his face in her hands and locked her eyes on his. “You are a good man, Oliver Queen.” she said slowly and deliberately, even though her voice shook, wanting to ensure that he understood her, “You are not a monster.” 

His eyelids fell shut and she caught an errant tear with her thumb. “You are a good man.” she repeated, wondering how often she was going to have to remind him of that in the future. 

His hands found her hips and pulled her forward another two steps until she was standing between his open legs. She didn’t think she just went with it and held him tight to her. His face buried itself in her stomach, as his arms wrapped about her. 

He didn’t make a sound, but his sobs shook them both and all she could do was hold him. 

She wondered how long it had been since he’d let himself succumb to his emotions like this. On the island? After he returned? Never? She could only imagine what it had been like for him. The isolation, the helplessness. But she also knew horrid, awful things had been done to him. He hadn’t been completely alone, not the entire time. He’d never said, but the majority of his scars had been done to him by someone else, which meant he’d been tortured. 

She stroked across his back, over his shoulders, and even through his shirt she could feel the scar tissue, and she held him a bit tighter. A flare of protectiveness, and caring, and something else she couldn’t identify sparked inside her. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, and she didn’t care. But eventually he calmed, although she didn’t stop holding him. 

He pulled back and looked at her, his eyes red rimmed, and she thought maybe he’d be self conscious or ashamed, but he wasn’t. 

“Better?” she asked, and smiled down at him sadly. 

“Thank you.” he whispered and her fingers ghosted over his cheek, taking away the last traces of moisture. 

He held her gaze and things quickly shifted. She was now quite aware of their position and exactly how close they were. 

“Felicity,” he began, the hand that had been resting on her lower back slid upwards to settle between her shoulder blades. 

Her breath hitched at the tone, and her hand fell to lay on his shoulder. His eyes darkened and in one smooth move he was now standing and looking down at her. 

She let out a little gasp, but before she could draw another breath his mouth was on hers. 

Felicity let out a whimper of surprise but quickly recovered and she kissed him back with equal fervor. 

When he tore his lips away to kiss along her jaw and then her neck all rational thought flew from her mind. It was when his hands found the bare flesh under her top that she knew she had to stop before everything got even more out of control. 

“Oliver,” she said slightly breathless, as she took his hand in hers and pulled it between them. “Oliver,” she repeated and tried to lean back enough so that she could see him. 

His eyes flashed with desire, and the low burn her in the bottom of her belly flared. She swallowed hard and fought against everything she wanted right then.

“We can’t.” she said with more conviction than she felt “Not right now.” she added hastily, not wanting him to think she didn’t want this. 

He was so raw right then. He was normally so completely in control, and now he was anything but. She didn’t want to ruin them before they had even started by allowing him to fall down this hole. 

“I don’t deserve you.” he said roughly, one hand coming up to cup the side of her head. 

“That very well may be, but you have me.” she replied, and immediately felt her face flush, at the implication of what she had just said. 

He smiled at her, finally, and she felt herself to begin to relax a little. He brushed a kiss across her forehead and she leaned into him. When he set her back she was confused, until he turned to grab his jacket. 

“No.” she said with feeling and grabbed his hand, “You’re not going anywhere right now.” 

He looked at her, not understanding. “Just...stay...and rest.” she said softly and began to lead him towards her bed. 

She pulled the covers back and then guided him to sit. “Felicity, I...” he began but she laid two fingers over his lips and tried to conceal the shiver that went through her at the contact. 

“Rest.” she ordered. “You never rest. You run the club, and train, and do Hood stuff, but I never see you rest.”

He opened his mouth to protest but she just gave him a look and he wisely gave up. 

“We’re going to have that talk. And we’re going to have it soon. But for now, everything here is ok.” she said and gestured between the two of them. “You’ve had too much happen in too short a time, and not even the great Oliver Queen can deal with it. And I don’t expect you to.” she assured him, and watched his eyes slip shut. 

She gave him a gentle shove and he laid back on the pillows without any resistance. 

She slipped into her bathroom for a quick minute and to give her a moment to recenter herself. When she came back out he had toed off his boots and was laying on his side, facing her; watching. 

She thought it would be awkward, getting into bed next to him, but it wasn’t. She slid under the covers and rolled so she could look at him. 

“You ok?” she asked 

“No. But maybe I will be.” and she realized it was that hope that he had been missing. He had come back from the island broken, and changed, and in the time he’d been home he didn’t think it would be any different. 

“You will if I have anything to say about it.” she replied. 

His answer was to wrap one long arm around her middle and pull her towards him. “Is this ok?” he asked into her hair. 

She turned slightly and settled back against him. “Good night, Oliver.” she said quietly and felt his arm tighten around her. 

“Good night, Felicity” he returned and she knew he felt her shudder as his lips pressed into the hollow between neck and shoulder. 

She laid her hand over his and laced their fingers, and fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat beneath her and the promise that through all the bad, maybe something good was going to find its way out.


	7. chapter 7

A/N: Still in 1x21. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think. 

 

She woke up to something tickling her neck and she swatted at it half-heartedly before curling into the warmth next to her. A hand brushed hair out of her face and she sighed contentedly. Then her eyes shot open as she remembered what had happened the night before. 

There was a solid wall of grey before her, and it wasn’t until she pushed back some and looked up that she realized she’d turned into Oliver during the night and was now using him as a pillow. 

Her cheeks flushed red and she tried to hide it, but his hand caught her chin and kept her from ducking down. 

He looked better. More at ease, although the lines around his eyes were still pinched. When he was sure she wouldn’t try and evade him, his fingers coasted along her throat, and she realized it was the same sensation that had woken her up. 

“This looks worse.” he said, his voice rough with sleep and it made her stomach flip. 

Over and over he brushed across the finger shaped bruises on her neck, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. “It doesn’t hurt.” she assured him. There was a darkening shadow along his temple and she lifted a hand to stroke over it gently. 

With a start she realized he’d taken out all the guards at the casino last night and then still had to deal with Walter’s captors. He was probably a mass of contusions. But before she could ask, he looked at her, his eyes intense and the question was lost. 

“What are we doing, Felicity?” his face was unreadable, and she was taken aback by how quickly he had gone there. 

“So we’re doing this now?” she asked and blinked rapidly in an effort to wake herself up. 

“Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just I usually prefer to have had a cup or ten of coffee before any potentially life altering conversations.” she replied and pushed herself back so she wasn’t lying down any longer. 

He hadn’t moved. He still lay on his side, brow furrowed, and she could see him struggle with what to say. He opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out, and her heart thrummed with anticipation. 

When she could’t take it any more she laid a tentative hand on his and canted her body towards him. “Would you like me to tell you what I think?”

He looked at her gratefully and nodded. 

Here it was, her opportunity to lay it all out for him. The chance to finally tell him everything she’d observed, and deduced after working with him all these months. And the possibility to have her heart crushed if this didn’t go well. But she knew they couldn’t continue this dance they’d been doing, growing ever closer but without defining it. Letting it exist in a liminal space without knowing where the other stood was dangerous. 

She gave him a nervous smile and took a deep breath before beginning. “I think there are three Oliver Queen’s. There is the old you who left on a trip with his father, there is the Hood, and there is the new you.” she hesitated, but he didn’t interrupt, in fact his expression hadn’t changed at all and it worried her. 

“The old Oliver is the playboy billionaire that everyone else still sees. That Oliver opened the club, and throws lavish parties, and...sleeps with women but doesn’t have relationships.” her throat felt tight and she wanted to look away from him, but she couldn’t. She swallowed heavily before she continued. “That Oliver is still in love with Laurel.” 

She finally got a reaction from him. He looked away quickly and she felt a stabbing pain near her heart. 

Felicity sat up a bit straighter and played with the edge of the blanket as she went on. She was worried that she may be overstepping. “That Oliver is in love with the idea of her, and of what you used to be. And since that Oliver is still around, at least publicly, it’s even harder to distinguish between old Laurel and new Laurel. It makes sense that you’d still be drawn to her, and still have feelings for her.” 

Now he looked like he may say something so she hurried on, “The Hood however, is not allowed to have any feelings. He has to be completely closed off. Relationships are distractions, and emotions can get you killed.” He finally moved when she said this, and in a flash he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, one leg off as if he’s about to run. “The Hood has a mission, he has a goal, everything is black and white, nothing is ambiguous. Training, planning, fighting, marking names off the list, that is all he exists for and nothing else matters.” 

Blood was pounding so loudly in her head she wondered if he could hear it as well, and her hands were numb. She was so afraid he was going to bolt and she’d never see him again, but she couldn’t stop now. 

“The new Oliver, I think maybe he’s got it the worst.” his head whipped to look at her, and it settled her a bit. “The new Oliver has to live a lie for almost everyone. He’s either the spoiled kid, or the vigilante. The real Oliver is lost, and confused, and trying so hard to do the right thing he doesn’t even know what it is. He needs help, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it. He needs family, but he doesn’t know who they are anymore. He needs...he needs love but he doesn’t think he deserves it.”

There was more she wanted to say, but her throat had decided to stop working, and once the silence stretched between them she didn’t know what to do. 

He was quiet for so long it scared her. When he finally spoke she startled. “Which one do you see?” he asked

She rose to her knees and hope she didn’t look ridiculous as she half crawled towards him. “I see you.” she said with certainty. 

“I see the caring brother, and the good friend. I see the hard worker. I see the man who wants to right wrongs, and cares about justice. I see the man who is willing to sacrifice everything he has, even if no one else knows.” tears pricked her eyes as she realized he would probably get himself killed one day because she wasn’t sure he thought he had anything to live for beyond his mission. “I see the person I get to work beside, and help make this city a better place.” 

He looked down, “I don’t think I’m that man.”

“Yet.” she replied and he gave her a look of confusion

“You don’t think you’re that man, yet.” she corrected, “You’re just going to have to trust me on this.” 

He got to his feet and stood with his back to her, rigid, and tense. “You scare the hell out of me.” 

She wanted to respond, but something told her to stay quiet. 

“Things I touch get...messy, they get polluted. I don’t want that for you.” 

“You’ve already touched me and I’m fine.” she clamped her hand over her mouth as soon as the words came out. “Oh god, did I actually say that?”

She saw him shake his head in silent amusement and he turned, a little bit of life back in his eyes. 

“I don’t know if I can do this yet. You’re the only one who knows all of me and...I don’t know if I’m drawn to that or to you.” he looked down when he was done talking and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. 

She blinked back tears and drew her knees up in front of her, unable to look at him just then. 

If she was being completely honest she understood what he was saying, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

“Yeah...I, um...I get that. That makes sense. I mean...people can’t know about you so that makes it hard to...” she stammered, and wiped her face, not wanting him to see. “So...don’t worry. It’ll be fine. I’m not going to be weird or anything. It’ll be fine.” she repeated, more to herself than him, because she didn’t believe it. She knew there was no coming back from this, because after what had happened last night she was all in, and the only way out was heartbreak. He needed to go before she had a complete and total breakdown. 

And then he was looming over her, one hand on her shoulder and it was too much. He couldn’t be there right then. He couldn’t touch her and it be ok. 

“Hey, Felicity. Just stop.” he said, with far more calm than she thought was fair, and knelt in front of her. “You didn’t exactly let me finish. You just threw a lot of stuff at me, and...I need some time to process it. I’ve been compartmentalizing everything for five years.” he looked...earnest she realized, and that gave her something to grab onto even though a voice in the back of her mind was telling her it was futile. 

“I know I feel something for you. I know I’ve felt that since I first asked you to fix that laptop. And that had nothing to do with you knowing the real me.” she just nodded, because there was no way she could form words just then. “But now, things are getting very real and I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to lose you either. You deserve better than the broken thing that returned from that island.” she could see him slipping back into the Hood headspace, where emotions weren’t welcome and it was easier to shut everyone out. 

“Do I get a say in any of this?” she asked suddenly, surprised at how forceful she sounded

He looked at her blankly and she pressed on, “This is my life too, right? I signed on with you to find Walter, and we’ve done that, but this has become so much more. What I do to help you is important to me, and you are important to me. You don’t scare me. But...you do need to figure out what you want, because it’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to you...”she took a deep shuddering breath before she continued, “And it’s not fair to Laurel.” 

She bit her lip and waited. He pushed himself to his feet and paced the small space between the bed and the window. 

“You’re right.” he said eventually, “I need to settle this.” he turned back to her, “I’m sorry, I...You’re important to me too, you have to know that.” his breath came out sharply and she could see how much he was struggling with this. 

A flare of guilt went through her. He had so much to deal with right then, maybe she shouldn’t have let things go this far. But it had already happened and there was no going back now. 

She gave him a falsely bright smile, that she knew he saw through, but hoped it was appreciated. “I know. And, I have faith that you’ll know when it’s right.” she didn’t have a choice. She had to give him this chance. She had to give him the opportunity to do this on his own time, even if it meant he didn’t choose her, because she was too far in, and she had to give them a chance as well. 

That desperately dark look cleared from his face and the next thing she knew he was hauling her towards him. Her lower legs and feet still rested on the bed, but the rest of her was pressed into him to the point it almost hurt. 

“I truly don’t deserve you.” he whispered into her hair and all she could do was hold him tighter. “I’ll do better, I promise.” 

When his hold lessen she sat back on her heels and looked up at him. “You’re a good man, Oliver Queen.” she repeated. 

He looked towards the ceiling and then pressed a hard kiss to her forehead. “I’ve got to get back to the hospital.” 

She nodded her understanding, and watched as he collected his jacket. “Would it be alright if I came by and saw Walter?” she asked hesitantly 

“Of course.” he responded immediately, “I’m sure he’d love to see you.” 

“Ok, good. It’s just...after all this time, and all the work...I just...” 

“You need to see for yourself.” he finished, 

“Yeah.” she agreed and she got the first true smile from him in a long time. 

“Thank you, for...everything.” 

She didn’t want to just let him go, but now that everything was laid out there she didn’t quite know where they stood. Not that she ever knew before, but things had been progressing. 

Summoning a bit of courage she slid off the bed and padded over to where he now stood in her doorway. “You’re very welcome.” she replied and lifted on her toes to brush a kiss over his cheek. “Good bye, Oliver.” 

He returned the kiss in kind, picking up on her unspoken request that any further physical contact be restrained until he had everything figured out. “I’ll see you soon.” he replied, and then he was slipping out her door without a sound. 

Her mind spun as soon as he was gone, and she numbly crossed to lock the door behind him. She gave her head a vicious shake and focused on what she needed to do. If she didn’t she’d end up obsessing over every word each of them had said, looking for hidden meaning, and quite possibly self sabotaging all of it. 

Walter. She needed to go see Walter. 

With that goal she headed towards her bathroom. An hour later she was ready to leave. Her hair was styled so the bruises on her neck would be less visible. The layer of concealer she’d applied would help as well. 

Oliver had texted her the room number, and she stopped into the gift shop to pick up a plant. She felt nervous as she stepped off the elevator and followed the signs down the hallway. 

The door to his room was open, and when she rapped lightly and stepped in, Thea and Moira Queen were sitting on the bed with Walter. Oliver stood at the end of the bed, his hands crossed in front of him. 

She could see by the clench of his jaw how much it was hurting him to watch them, knowing what his mother had done. She ached to be able to comfort him, but she couldn’t. 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Thea said, her body turned towards the door. She must have heard the knock, but Moira hadn’t. She looked when her daughter spoke. 

“Oh, Felicia, wasn’t it?” Moira said, obviously confused as to why she was there. 

“It’s Felicity, actually, but that’s ok, I don’t expect you to remember the names of every woman Oliver brings home.” Thea just gaped at her, and once again Felicity found herself wishing for the floor to swallow her after talking to Oliver’s mother. 

“This is Felicity, Mom, my friend.” Oliver said easily and stepped closer to her, his hand finding the small of her back. That slight bit of contact made her stand a little straighter. 

“I’m sorry dear, I didn’t recognize you with your pants on.” Moira returned, and Felicity flushed red. Oliver’s hand clenched in the fabric of her jacket and she wished she could look at him, but there were too many eyes. 

“Felicity is my friend as well.” Walter interjected, saving her from his wife. 

“Wal...Mr. Steele.” she started, “I just...I’m glad you’re back, I just...yeah. I’m just glad you’re back.” 

She passed the plant to Oliver, and went to make a hasty retreat, “I’m sorry for disturbing you, I’m going to go now.” 

She was two steps out the door when she heard Oliver call out, “Felicity wait, I’ll walk you down.” 

She was going to protest, but he didn’t give her the option. His hand took her elbow, and then he was propelling her down the hallway. 

“I’m sorry.” he said

“It’s ok. Your mother has only met me under the worst of circumstances. It’s not your fault.” she assured him

“I just needed to get out of there. I don’t know how much longer I can wait before I...” he had stopped in front of the elevators, but he looked so wound up she thought he could snap at any moment. 

“You need to wait.” she said calmly and laid a hand on his arm. “You need to talk to Digg and fix things with him, and we have information we need to go over before you start making any sort of plans.” but he didn’t seem to be listening to her. She stepped in closer, “Promise me you won’t do anything without thinking about it first.” 

But before he could answer a voice from behind him called his name. 

“Ollie, I saw on the news...” as he turned, Felicity was revealed and she could see Laurel stop dead in her tracks as she took in how close they were standing. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were talking to...I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.” 

Felicity let her hand fall away and stepped back from Oliver. She fiddled with the strap on her bag. “Felicity. And, I was just about to go to the ladies room. Yeah. Um, too much coffee. So, if you’ll excuse me...” and before she could say anything potentially mortifying she walked purposely towards the restroom without looking back. 

She only felt a little bad about leaving him there like that, but she couldn’t stand in between them, not after what had happened last night and the conversation she’d had with Oliver had this morning. 

Once she was around the corner she stopped and leaned against the wall to catch her breath. Why did Laurel have to show up then? Was the universe conspiring against her? 

When her heart had stopped pounding so loud she realized she could hear them talking. As much as she hated herself she couldn’t walk away. 

“I talked to Tommy yesterday, and he said the reason he broke up with me was because he thought that you and I belonged together.” Laurel said, and Felicity had to clap a hand over her mouth to suppress the gasp. 

“And what did you say?” she heard Oliver ask, his voice was tight, and she couldn’t imagine what was going through his head right then. Certainly he’d never thought he’d have to face this so soon. 

“Nothing. He walked out on me.” Laurel told him, and Felicity felt a tiny part of her relax. 

Oliver was quiet for a long moment, “Well, I just want you to be happy.” and she could tell he had that tone, that fake tone that the ‘old’ Oliver used. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

“Then can you please go and talk to Tommy for me.” Laurel pleaded, and Felicity was shocked that she’d ask Oliver to do something like that. 

“And say what?”

“Say that you and I are over. That you’re not still in love with me.” 

“I can’t do that.” Oliver’s reply was short and clipped. 

Felicity was sure her heart had stopped. So this was it. This was her answer already. He’d been forced into a corner and he’d chosen. How could she have been so stupid to believe he’d want her over Laurel? She blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling but she couldn’t stop them. 

“Why not?” Laurel questioned, and Felicity could hear the hope in her voice, and it cut sharply. 

“Because...” Oliver began, and Felicity realized she couldn’t stand there and actually witness him choose Laurel. She needed to get out of there. She wiped her face hastily and bent to retrieve her bag from where it had fallen at her feet. But just as she turned to leave she heard the rest of Oliver’s reply. 

“Because it’s not my place. This is between you and Tommy. I’m not the same man I was when I left. Tommy knows that.” she froze at his words, and then there was nothing that could make her leave. “I do wish you all the best, but...you and I...there’s too much history, and too much pain, and I’m so sorry for every bad thing I did to you. I really do hope you and Tommy make things work.” The longer he talked, the stronger and more sure he sounded, and she could barely breathe for all the thoughts that were racing through her head. 

Laurel must have been stunned silent, but she recovered quickly, “Of course, Ollie. I’m sorry for asking. I’m glad Walter’s going to be fine.” Felicity heard the clicking of her heels as she began to walk away, and then they stopped. “Oh, and Ollie, you don’t need to punish yourself forever. I know you’re not the same person you were. You deserve to be happy too, so maybe you should start looking at what’s right in front of you.” the retort of her heels faded and Felicity tried to calm her ragged breath. 

She sunk into the wall and shut her eyes and tried to tell herself that just because he’d rejected Laurel didn’t mean he was choosing her. But that tiny sprig of hope that had taken up residence inside her was now unfurling and she was hopeless to stop it. 

When she opened her eyes, Oliver was standing across from her, leaning against the opposite wall with a completely unreadable expression. 

“Oh god!” she blurted out, at getting caught. 

He didn’t even twitch, and she felt compelled to keep talking. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t actually have to go to the bathroom, and then I realized the elevators and the stairs were back by you, and I was just going to wait. But then I could hear, and I didn’t mean to listen, but I also...I’m sorry, I also couldn’t stop. And you probably hate me now, and I understand that, I should never have done it.”

“I knew you were there the entire time.” he said evenly, and she just gaped at him open mouthed. 

“Your covert skills still need some polishing.” he quipped, and she realized he seemed lighter, if that was possible. 

“Come on, I said I’d walk you down.” he said and extended his hand. 

She studied him for a long moment and then slid her hand into his. He squeezed it tight and then leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Stop thinking so much.” 

She sighed, and nodded, and let him pull her back to where the elevators were. 

They were silent until they reached the parking garage, and his hand never left hers until they were standing in front of her little red car. 

“I’m going to go see Diggle.” he told her, and she gave him a radiant smile as reward. “I think things are becoming a bit...clearer now.” the confidence and surety of his words made a shiver go through her. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” she said

“See you tonight.” he stated, but it was more of a question. 

“Tonight.” she confirmed, and stepped back as he opened the car door for her. She slid in but he didn’t move, his body still taking up open space. 

He leaned in further, having to contort his large frame some, and the breath caught in her throat. When his lips were a hairsbreadth away from hers, she put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Oliver, there are security cameras.” she cautioned. 

“Good thing I’ve got a damn good IT girl.” he answered with a grin, and then his mouth was over hers in a searing kiss. She would have gladly let it continue, but she ended it prematurely when her elbow accidentally hit the horn as she was trying to wrap her arm around his neck. The sudden sound startled them both and she groaned in frustration. 

“I should go.” he said, and she nodded, letting her hand fall from where it had wrapped itself in his sweater. 

“Tell Digg I said hello, and do good groveling.” she said cheekily and he shot her a look. “You know I’m right.” she stated with a smile. He responded by shutting her door and giving her another look through the window. 

As she pulled out, she watched him in her rearview. If she felt overwhelmed right then, she couldn’t imagine how he was coping. But she knew they’d be able to handle it.


	8. chapter 8

A/N: 1x22 Enjoy!

 

If she had thought everything was going to be magically fixed with Oliver, she was sadly mistaken. Felicity knew there would be ups and downs, and most likely more downs, but, the impact his mother’s involvement was having on him was pervasive. 

When she saw him again he was focused, and hard, and definitely more ‘Hood’ than anything else. It was with a grim realization that she silently accepted this wouldn’t be fixable until he saw it through and the Undertaking was over. 

So she didn’t push. She slid back into her role of IT support, and voice of reason for when he, and even sometimes Digg, got a little too much testosterone flowing. But there was a hand on her shoulder as Oliver stood behind her while she worked and she knew he was aware of what she was doing. 

When he came in two days later, agitated, and declaring that he was going to interrogate his mother as the Hood, she wasn’t surprised. She had spent the better part of the last forty-eight hours doing heavy surveillance on Moira Queen, with Digg’s help. 

They hadn’t found anything. It seemed that she was exactly who she should have been, and that only made Oliver more frustrated. 

The plan he and Digg came up with worried her. She knew Digg had donned the hood before, but it was risky. Her ultimate concern was that Oliver was going to learn everything, and she wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it. 

He’d told her to go home. It wasn’t harsh, and it wasn’t dismissive, but it still stung. Anger flared in her and she spun in her chair to stare him down, her arms crossed. 

“Not gonna happen.” she told him, and rather enjoyed the way his eyebrows raised at her defiance. 

“There’s nothing we need you for. Diggle’s going to be with me the entire time.” he protested, as he busied himself putting together the tranquilizer darts that would be used that night. 

“I’m not talking about the mission.” she said quietly, and his hands stilled as he realized what she meant. 

It was a testament to how far he had come when he whispered, “Yeah, ok.” He didn’t look over at her, but it was more than enough, and she turned the chair back so he couldn’t see her reaction. 

Oliver left before Digg. He was halfway up the stairs when she hurried after him. 

She halted him with a hand on his arm, and he hesitated before he faced her. “Whatever you find out, we’ll deal with it.” she told him

He studied her for a long time before he clasped her hand in his. “I hope you’re right.” and then he was gone. 

As she made her way back down the stairs she felt Digg’s eyes on her. “It’s better that he knows.” 

“Doesn’t mean it’s easier.” she replied as she sat in front of her computers. 

“I don’t think Oliver knows the meaning of the word.” Digg countered

“No,” she agreed, and then started to say something about not being too rough on Oliver, but she knew neither of them would appreciate it. 

“Don’t worry,” Digg said, with half a chuckle, “I’ll pull my punches.” 

“You’d better.” she warned, “You’ll let me know...if it’s bad?” 

Diggle’s jaw set and he gave her a nod in agreement. 

It was well past midnight when her phone buzzed with a text from Digg. ‘It’s done. He’s going to need you.’ 

It must have been bad if Digg was wording it that way. She sat down slowly and clasped her shaky hands in front of her and waited. 

She didn’t know for sure if he would come to her, but she knew he wouldn’t want her tracking him down, and it took every ounce of will power she had not to go find him right then. He’d need time to digest whatever it was he’d learned, and when he was ready he’d emerge. 

In the meantime, she worried. 

She took time to run home and change, and was back at the lair a little after five, large travel mug full of coffee, and makeup hiding the fact that she hadn’t slept at all. 

Digg was there when she returned. He filled her in on the basics; that Moira knew what Malcolm had been planning, and that he intended to destroy the Glades and everyone in it.

She was slumped in her chair, trying to even begin to comprehend a device that could destroy a city, and how Oliver could even function knowing that his own mother was involved. 

Her lower lip was almost gnawed raw and guilt grew inside her as she second guessed her decision to not find him last night. 

Just as she was about to activate a GPS trace on his phone the alert flashed on the screen letting her know he’d entered the lair. She held her breath until she laid eyes on him.

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed when she caught sight of him, and rushed forward. She stopped him with a hand on his chest, the other came to feather over the scrapes and bruises on his jaw and around his eye. “I thought you said you were going to pull your punches!” she directed at Diggle. 

“I did!” he replied, but she already had her focus back on Oliver who was trying to get away from her attention. He hadn’t even looked at her, and she could actually feel him pulling away, and putting up walls. 

“Let me get you an ice pack for...everything.” she tested the swollen area above his eye and his hand caught hers.

“I’m fine.” he declared, and finally met her gaze. 

‘I’m sorry.’ she mouthed, but he didn’t acknowledge her. 

Even though she knew he wouldn’t let her take care of him she grabbed two ice packs anyways and left one by Digg. “If his face looks like this, your knuckles must not look so good either.” 

“Hey! I know how to hit without hurting myself.” Diggle protested, but she noticed that he still picked up the pack and placed it over the back of his hand. 

She pushed Oliver into the nearest chair and laid the cool pack against his swollen jaw. She expected him to avoid her help, but after a long moment he leaned in towards her, and his hand came up to cover hers. 

Then he actually looked at her, and allowed her to see the sadness and defeat he’d been pushing away since Digg had interrogated his mother. 

Her breath caught in her throat and she wanted to wrap him up and hold him tight, but he wasn’t there yet. So she settled for cupping her other hand along the side of his face and letting her thumb coast over his cheek. “We’ll fix this.” she promised, and he nodded once in agreement. 

Digg had been oddly quiet and she self consciously stepped back from Oliver and let him handle the ice pack, which of course meant he tossed in on the nearest flat surface. She thought about admonishing him, but gave him a look instead. 

As she headed back to her station, Digg let out a snort and she whipped her head towards him in confusion. 

“You have no idea you’ve got his name across your back, do you?” he said and gestured between her and Oliver. 

“What are you talking about?” the words were out of her mouth at exactly the same moment that she remembered what she was wearing, and then her face flushed red. 

In the dark of her closet this morning, with her mind completely on Oliver she had just grabbed the next thing on the hanger and not given it another thought. But Digg was correct, ‘Pearly Queen’ was on full display, and as she unconsciously twisted to look behind her she realized her hair covered the first part almost completely. That meant that really all that could be seen was the ‘Queen’. 

Oliver cleared his throat and she jumped back to the present before shooting a glare in Digg’s direction. 

“How about we focus on what’s important.” Oliver said, beginning to sound impatient. 

He came up behind her, and she struggled to focus. “I need everything you can find on Unidac Industries.” 

As her fingers flew over the keyboard he leaned in over her shoulder under the pretense of looking closer at the screen. “I like seeing my name there.” he whispered in her ear, and her hands faltered as her heart rate increased. 

She swallowed hard, and peeked up at him but couldn’t think of a thing to say that wouldn’t make her look like a complete fool so she went back to work. 

It didn’t take long to discover that Unidac had been funded by Queen Consolidated, and that they did research on seismic activity. It was also clear that there was a connection to Merlyn Global, and the copy cat archer. 

She spent hours trying to hack into Merlyn Global’s mainframe in an attempt to discover where the device was being kept, but it was to no avail; it was heavily protected. 

With a frustrated sigh she pushed back from the desk and crossed her arms. “It’s not going to work.”

“Is there any other way to find out where he’s keeping this device?” Digg asked

“Unless I can waltz up to Merlyn’s mainframe and plug in my tablet directly there is no other way.” 

Oliver just stared at her like that was the solution. “So we waltz.” he said simply

“Did you hear what I said? Direct access is the only way to get into their system.” she said incredulously 

“And?” he countered, “You need direct access, we get you direct access.” 

“Apparently I failed to mention that the mainframe is located inside Merlyn Global’s headquarters, on the 25th floor.” she could’t believe he wasn’t grasping how impossible it all was. 

“So we break in.” Oliver stated, like it was the easiest thing in the world. 

It didn’t take long for Digg and Oliver to come up with a plan that actually seemed like it could work, although she still wasn’t sure how they were going to get through the restricted elevator. 

Digg disappeared for half an hour and when he returned he had a bag of food and a uniform for Felicity from Big Belly Burger. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as he handed it to her, but went upstairs to change. 

She got the earpieces ready and working, and made sure she had what she needed on her tablet, including a fake order page for the food delivery, and before she had time to really think it all through they were all leaving in separate directions. 

It wasn’t until she was in her car, alone, that she began to get nervous. This was one of their more tame missions, and with Digg in the security office, and Oliver with her almost the entire time she really had nothing to worry about. Despite that, she could feel her stomach begin to churn as she parked a block away from Merlyn Global headquarters. 

As she approached the building she could see Oliver enter. The charcoal grey suit was one of his nicer ones. Not that he looked bad in anything he wore, or had suits that weren’t all insanely expensive, but she was partial to the grey. 

Her internal ramble had occupied her long enough to get to the door. Knowing he was there, and things were going as planned settled her down some. 

She made it past the front desk, and was even more relieved when Digg was right where he was supposed to be when she delivered the laced burger. 

As she waited at the elevators she felt Oliver step up next to her, and she fought her natural urge to turn towards him. She held her breath as the doors opened and they stepped through. A voice yelling ‘Hold that!’ made her mash the door close button, but the man made it through in time. 

His eyes cut over her appreciatively but she knew with one look he was a tool. She had to hide a smile as Oliver’s jaw ticked when the leech called her ‘sweetie’, and her heart did a funny flip when Oliver knocked the guy’s papers out of his hands and made him go scrambling after them. 

The ride up to the 24th floor seemed to take forever, and then Digg’s voice came over their comms telling them that was as far as he could get them. 

Oliver pushed the stop and before she knew it he was pulling her through the ceiling hatch, with one arm. 

The next couple of minutes were spent in a terrified blur as she realized what 24 floors up actually meant. Oliver warned her not to look down, but it was too late, and she was never so grateful as when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in close. 

The thwack of the grappling hook locking into the concrete across from them made her jump and Oliver gave her no time before he was asking if she was ready. She nodded once and felt him tighten his hold on her and then there was nothing below her feet. 

Felicity buried her face in his shoulder until he sat them back on relatively solid ground, and looked at him in amazement as he actually took the time to button his suit jacket, like he hand’t just flown them across that drop. 

And then they were in. The hallway was empty, and she tried to calm her rebellious stomach. 

“You ok?” he asked as he grasped her by the elbow and guided her away from the open elevator shaft. 

“Mmhm,” she hummed, and he turned her so she faced him. 

“Are you sure?” he asked again, and stooped a little so he could look right at her. 

She thought about making a joke about how she was about to be sick, but a memory of his face from this morning, haunted and hurting came back to her, and she summoned up every bit of courage she could find. “I’m fine.” she assured him. 

“Security patrols on a ten minute cycle. I’ll have my meeting with Tommy and be back in nine, ok?” a hand ran from her elbow to her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug, “You’ll be safe.” he said with conviction and she nodded into his neck. 

There was a quick brush of his lips across her cheek and then he was heading through the door. 

As soon as she lost sight of him she heard him over the comm, “Digg, you got eyes on her?” and she felt a swell of emotion that he had only been gone seconds and was already concerned about her. 

Felicity took a deep breath and went straight to the card swipe. That she had been able to hack offsite. 

Nine minutes was not a lot of time, and she made quick work of getting her tablet connected. 

There was a faint click and she knew Oliver had turned his transmitter off to talk to Tommy. She could only hope it wasn’t too difficult for him. The only reason he was putting himself in that position was to give her time. 

The information she needed was buried deep and it was taking her longer to get to it than she expected. When Digg’s voice alerted her that the security guards were doing their rounds early panic rose within her. 

“I’m not there yet on the download.” she told them with a shaky voice. 

“Hold tight, I’m on my way.” Oliver said, and she felt relief. Oliver would come. 

And then her stomach dropped as she heard him greeting Malcolm Merlyn. The longer they talked the more worried she became that the guards would get to her first. 

“Felicity!” Digg hissed in her ear

“Just a few more seconds!” a cold sweat broke across her skin, and she almost couldn’t hear Oliver trying to get away from Merlyn due to the rush of blood to her head. 

The ding of the elevator door as Oliver was forced to head down to the lobby with Merlyn sounded like a death knell to her. 

“She’s going to get made, Oliver!” Digg shouted, “Oliver, do you hear me?” 

But there was no response. 

“Oh god.” she said softly, and tried to focus on finishing what she was there for. 

“Felicity!” 

“Just a few more seconds.” she told Digg again, her eyes glued to the monitors

“You don’t have a few more seconds.” he told her, and she swallowed hard

And then it was finished. 

“Yes!” she exclaimed and threw her fist in the air. She tore the cable out and closed the tablet all while heading towards the door. 

She forgot to breath as she turned the corner and ran right into security. 

“Dammit Olvier, she’s in trouble, where are you?” Digg sounded desperate and that did not help her at all. 

The security guard was going on about restricted areas, but she honestly couldn’t focus on him at all right then. She was just scared, and had no idea how she was going to get out of this one. Until she got back to the lair, anyone could look at her tablet and see exactly what she had just done. 

She was searching pointlessly for ID she didn’t have when Digg came around the corner and took her by the arm. He spun a story about how she was there to moon over Tommy Merlyn and she caught on quickly, but was thankful that the entire time they were moving for the door. 

Digg got off the elevator one floor down, and he gave her a tight smile as the doors closed. She heard him come over the comm almost immediately, “Oliver, she’s safe and on her way to the lobby.” 

He must have muted his link though because she couldn’t hear anything from him. By the time the display showed ‘L’, she had somewhat gotten her breathing under control, and was sure that she wouldn’t catch anyone’s attention as she was leaving. 

The elevator opened and she only had about a hundred more feet before she’d be free and clear. She’d crossed about ten of those feet when she saw him. His back was to her, and her breath caught in her throat. She had to pass right by the security desk to leave, and doing so put her in Oliver’s line of sight. 

She knew she shouldn’t look at him. She knew she should just keep walking across the lobby, go through the door, and act like she was just another delivery girl on her way out. She managed to suppress it until she stepped through the door, and then nothing could stop her from turning back. 

His eyes cut through her. Piercing, and blue, and with one look she knew how worried he had been. She couldn’t help but lock her gaze with his and answer his need to know if she was ok. If anyone had bothered to watch, the two of them would have been made in a second; the look was too intense for mere strangers. 

She walked a little quicker than normal, and when she got to her car she tore off the jacket with more haste than was necessary. She felt constricted, and out of breath and she leaned her head on the steering wheel for a long moment to get herself back under control. 

“I’m out.” she said sharply and then turned off her earpiece before there was a response. 

The lair was empty when she arrived and she settled herself in at her chair, prepared to link the tablet to the computer but she couldn’t get her hands to stop shaking. With a curse she sat the cable down and tried to force herself to stop. 

She’d been in more dangerous situations than that, why was this affecting her so much? Because Oliver wasn’t there. A small voice inside her said and she tried to ignore it, but she knew it was true. She trusted him to get her in there, and she trusted him to get her out. 

Felicity had just started the upload when she saw the alert for the door. She took a deep breath and turned slowly, not having any idea how she’d react when she saw him. 

He crossed the space in three long strides and was hauling her to him. “I’m sorry.” he said raggedly into her hair and she clutched on to him and felt herself relax. 

“I tried to get back to you, but I ran into Merlyn and then Thea, and...” he was so genuinely upset that any anger she’d held towards him fled immediately. 

“It’s ok, Digg got me out. That’s why we work better as a team.” she assured him, “But maybe in the future we can have back up plans, and back up plans for our back up plans.”

He gave a gruff laugh, “I think that’s a solid idea.” he agreed. The hand that had been buried in her hair slid around to cup her neck and shivered as his thumb ghosted over her ear. 

She closed the distance between them this time. The kiss was more aggressive, and she couldn’t help the low moan that escaped as his tongue swept through her mouth, leaving her light headed. 

He pulled back enough to lean his forehead against hers, “I’m glad you’re ok.” 

She smoothed down his lapels and lowered herself down to the floor, “I am. And now you really have to let me get this data uploaded so we can find that device.” 

“How long will that take?” he asked. His hands fell away from her hips as she made her way back to the computers. 

She grimaced, and pushed her glasses back where they belonged, “A while. It’s a lot of data, but I did manage to upload a trojan to the Merlyn mainframe which could help us in the future.” 

“Smart.” he said, and she felt a burst of pride at the smile on his face 

As she worked on tying the tablet to their system she could hear Oliver in the background behind her. 

“It’ll be hours.” she announced after having a look at the upload percentage, and turned when she didn’t get a response from him. 

He was over by his chest, the one he kept his bow in, and other things from the island. She’d never even touched it before. He always kept it closed unless he was retrieving the bow or putting it back, and it had never even occurred to her to betray his trust by opening it. 

“You alright?” she asked, and came up slowly behind him. She ran a hand over his back and could feel how tense he was. 

He had his father’s book in his hand, and he was studying it carefully. “My father, he told me that he failed this city. He asked me to right his wrongs, but I never really knew what he meant until now. It’s the Undertaking. I promised myself when I crossed all the names off this list I’d be done, but...” the hand she had laid on his back fell off as he turned, “If I take out the Undertaking, I don’t have to worry about the rest.” 

Her eyes dropped to the book in his hand, the book that linked them. The book that started everything, and was the reason why she even knew him to begin with. She took a step back as she considered what he’d just said. “What are you saying? Would you give all this up?” she asked in a cracked voice, unable to keep her feelings hidden. Because she knew where she fit into his life here, but if he didn’t do this any longer...where did that leave her? 

“What Merlyn’s doing, that’s why I came back from the island, to stop him.” he said, “I thought you’d be glad.” 

She took another step back and slid the book from his hands. She flipped through the pages as she considered her words. “I...like this. What we do, it matters. I’m not sure how going back to the way things were would work.” her breath halted on an intake as she watched him and wondered if he’d understand what she was really saying. 

He took the book back and tossed it in the trunk before shutting the lid with force, his back to her once again. “You’d be safer.” he declared in almost a growl, and her feet carried her back to him without her consent. 

“I don’t care about that.” she said quickly

“Well I do!” he shouted and turned on her, his hands flashed up and caught her upper arms. “You matter to me. More than the book! It’s not worth losing you over.” his eyes darkened and he leaned in closer.

“But won’t you lose me anyways.” she whispered, “If you give it up, I go back to the IT department, and you go back to being Oliver Queen, billionaire playboy. Where does that leave us?”

His brow furrowed at her question, “Why do you think that changes things?” 

“It changes everything.” she declared, “I don’t exist in your world. I don’t go to galas, and have a private jet, and buy night clubs on a whim.”

“None of that matters, and you should know that better than anyone. Or was all of that about the three Olivers just a joke to you.” he spat out

She saw red. Felicity didn’t think, she called on the training Digg had given her, and in the span of a few seconds she’d elbowed him in the gut and then swept his legs out from under him. She landed on his chest with an oomph as the air was knocked from her lungs. 

His stunned expression stared up at her and she pushed up off him, “It wasn’t a joke, I meant every word.” angry tears pricked her eyes, and she tried to blink them away, “None of this is a joke to me, Oliver. But I don’t see how I could possibly exist in your world without this.” her hand came up to sweep around the lair. 

In a flash their positions were reversed, and she was now the one on the hard concrete while he loomed over her. As he pressed into her she realized how close they were, and a warm flush filled her body. 

“Don’t sell yourself short, Felicity Smoak, you’re remarkable.” and then all she knew were his hands and his mouth. 

He was everywhere. It was overwhelming and yet not enough at the same time. Her brain eventually caught up and she quickly went to work undoing the buttons she could reach. He sucked in a sharp breath as she ran her nails over his torso, and she grinned into his kiss. 

She gave out a small squeal of surprise as he suddenly picked her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist automatically and she arched her back at the contact. He sat her down on the work table behind them, but she left her legs where the were, and finished what she had started with the buttons. 

He stopped kissing her long enough to carefully remove her glasses and set them aside, and she let him know how very much she appreciated that as she rolled her hips into his. Her shirt was next, and she gasped as his hands found her bare skin. 

“Whoa!” Diggle’s exclamation made them jump apart. Oliver turned swiftly and blocked her from Digg’s view while she hurriedly put her shirt back on. 

“Didn’t know I’d be interrupting.” he said gruffly, “Didn’t know there would be anything to interrupt.” and she peeked around Oliver’s shoulder to see Digg leveling him with a glare. 

Felicity smoothed down the shirt and put her glasses back on before she pushed on Oliver’s back to get him to move to no avail. She ended up scooting sideways and hopped off the table to stand sheepish next to a still half naked Oliver. 

“You kids have something you want to share with the class?” Digg questioned, his focus now on her. 

She gulped, and looked at the floor, her face flush with not only embarrassment. 

“Felicity and I are...” at his pause her heart clenched, she waited for him to finish. She waited for the slick, womanizing response, that he defaulted to. 

“Felicity and I are together.” he started again, and this time he finished without hesitation. He suddenly looked over at her, “I hope that’s ok with you?” 

“Yeah, that’s...more than ok, that’s fine in fact. I mean, it’s so much better than what I thought you were going to say. It could have been anything, and most of it would have been bad. Very bad. Which would have made things weird. Well, weirder than they already are, and...” she was cut off when he captured her mouth in a kiss, and she sank into him, whatever else she was going to say was lost. 

“Impressive. You found out a way to get her to stop doing that.” Digg said with a laugh as they pulled apart. Then his face was hard as stone, “You do know if you hurt her I will kill you and your body will never be found.” 

“If I hurt her, I deserve no less.” Oliver said seriously, and she watched as Digg nodded once in agreement. 

A tone sounded from the computers letting her know the upload was complete, “Oh thank god, saved by the bell.” she said and hurried to her chair. 

The tone of the room changed as she pulled up the information and started searching. Oliver and Digg flanked her as she worked, and for once it didn’t seem oppressive. 

“Got it.” she announced, her eyes cut over the screens in front of her. “It’s being kept at a warehouse owned by Merlyn Global. It’s in the Glades.” she said, and looked at Oliver over her shoulder. 

“Coordinated attack.” Oliver directed at Digg, “You take the device, I’ll take Merlyn.” Digg agreed. 

“According to the trojan I planted, Merlyn is logged on to the computer in his office right now.” 

“Let’s go.” Oliver stated, already moving towards where he kept his equipment. Digg was doing the same.

Her heart was in her throat as she watched Oliver put the hood on. Everything was happening so fast they couldn’t catch their breath and it terrified her. 

She took a tremulous breath and then raced to get their comms set up. Digg was adding another clip to his waistband as she gave him his earpiece. “Stay safe.” she said and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, “Thanks for offering to kill him.” 

“Anytime.” he said easily and clapped Oliver on the back before he disappeared. 

She walked slowly up to Oliver as he finished loading his quiver. “I don’t suppose telling you to be careful is necessary.” 

“I don’t think Merlyn is a threat.” he said assuredly

“No, but he has guards, and...he’s Tommy’s father.” she said softly, and watched as his eyes clouded

“I know. I wish...I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” she could see how much that was eating at him. 

He took the earpiece from her, and then raised her hand to his lips, “I’ll be careful.” he promised, and she gave him a smile. 

“I’ll be here.” she promised back,

“Thank you.” he said quietly and kissed her hard before he too left. 

Alone again, she settled down in front of her screens and tried to ignore the gnawing pit in her stomach that told her something very very bad was about to happen.


	9. chapter 9

A/N: continues with 1x23. Enjoy!

 

To say she was nervous was an understatement. Worried, scared, petrified, distressed, uneasy; she could use up an entire thesaurus and it wouldn’t be enough. 

She would hear back from Digg first. It was just geography. The location of Merlyn’s warehouse was only blocks from Verdant, and Merlyn Global’s headquarters was on the other side of town. Not hearing from Oliver was to be expected. 

She tapped her fingers on the table as she waited for one of them to check in, and winced as she bit too hard on her lip. Her thumb brushed over the spot and she was jolted with a memory of what she’d been doing with Oliver not that long ago. 

Her face got hot at the thought. Would she have let things continue if Diggle hadn’t walked in, she questioned herself. Yes, absolutely, was the immediate answer. 

She’d never felt this way about anyone before. She’d thought she’d had connections in the past; men who had excited her and made her heart race. They had nothing on Oliver. 

Before she could go too far down the rabbit hole of what exactly a night with him might entail Digg’s voice came over the comm and made her jump. 

“I’m at the location.” he said quietly 

“Copy that.” she replied

He was silent again, and she found herself holding her breath as he made his way through the building. When she didn’t hear the sounds of fighting or gunfire she was actually concerned. Why wouldn’t Merlyn have his prize weapon under heavy guard?

Oliver called in next, surprising her with how quickly he’d made it. 

There was still nothing from Digg, but she didn’t dare ask what he was doing. 

Everything was quiet until she heard the deep voice of the modulator say, “Malcolm Merlyn, you have failed this city.” 

“Oliver, the device. It’s gone.” Digg sounded breathless. 

Her heart dropped. 

“Where is the device.” Oliver demanded

“Safe.” Merlyn replied smoothly, “I don’t know how you got that trojan on my system but it prompted me to take precautions.” 

“Oh god, no.” she whispered. Felicity clapped a hand over her mouth as bile rose in her throat. 

Merlyn continued to talk, but she couldn’t hear him. The rush of blood to her head had left her light headed, and all should could think was that she was the reason the device had been moved. If it was set off now it would be her fault. 

The release of Oliver’s arrow brought her back to the present, and she expected to hear the sound of Merlyn dying, but there was only silence. 

Malcolm Merlyn’s voice was calm, and deadly and she had no idea how he was still alive; Oliver never missed. 

As he spoke the sick feeling returned, and her mind whirled as she realized they had been wrong all along. Malcolm Merlyn was the copy cat archer. He was the one who had almost killed Oliver before, and now he was facing him alone, again. 

Her hands flashed across the keyboard and she cut the feed to Oliver for a moment so she could just talk to Diggle. 

“Digg! It’s Merlyn, he’s the other archer! Please, go now!” she said desperately 

“On my way.” he responded, but the knot that had set up residence in her gut only tightened. 

With trembling hands she turned Oliver’s transmission back on and almost wished she hadn’t. All she could hear was glass breaking and the sounds of bodies slamming into each other. Oliver let out a grunt of pain, and then there was static; the comm was broken. 

“No!” she breathed out, and spun to another computer in a futile attempt to pull up Merlyn Global’s internal security monitors, but it was no use. 

“Digg! His comms are down. They fought...I don’t...” her voice broke on the thought 

“I’m almost there, Felicity.” and she could hear the squeal of tires in the background. 

It was a long ten minutes where she sat stock still, every muscle tensed as she waited to hear from Diggle. 

“Felicity. There’s no one here.” he said quietly “There was a hell of a fight, but the place is empty.” 

She tried to respond but her throat was too clogged for her to speak. 

“I’m coming back, see what you can do about tracking him down.” 

Felicity nodded her head even though no one could see her. Getting Oliver back was something she had to do. 

The signal from the earpiece was toast, and his cell was also offline and untraceable. It had probably been broken in the battle. But there was one more avenue she had, and as she pulled it up on screen she made silent pleas that it hadn’t been damaged. 

Not long after she’d started working with them she suggested Oliver use some sort of tracking device. He’d scoffed at the idea, and Digg had teased him about being lo-jacked, but eventually he gave in and allowed her to install a tiny GPS chip in his boot. They’d never had a need to use it until now. 

The chip was working, but the location was being blocked by an extremely impressive firewall. 

“No, no, no, no, NO!” she screamed at the screen she could no longer see due to tears. 

When Digg returned she was so absorbed in trying to hack her way around the firewall she didn’t notice he was next to her until he laid a hand on her arm. 

She jumped a foot and turned red rimmed eyes his direction. 

“We’re going to get him back.” he said decidedly and she wanted to believe him. 

She filled him in quickly, and his face lit up as he remembered the tracker in the boot. 

“It’s all we’ve got.” she said in a small voice, “But if I can’t get past that firewall...”

“Hey, you’ll do it. I know you will.” and she gave him the smallest of smiles, “Now, what can I do to help?” 

“You can keep me supplied with coffee, and pep talks.” she said with a small shrug and he headed out immediately. 

Digg kept true to his word. There were numerous venti mochas, and even a hug about three hours in when she had a minor breakdown and had convinced herself Oliver was dead in the harbor already. 

The work was tedious and she’d never felt such pressure before in her life, but very slowly she was working her way around. And then she was in. She’d managed to re-route the firewall and make it think it was operating, when in fact it wasn’t. 

“There!” she said excitedly and pulled the location up on a satellite map. It was an abandoned building right near the docks, and a cold chill washed over her as she realized her vision of Oliver’s body being dumped in the water might not have been that off. 

“Go get him! Go!” she all but pushed Digg out the door. “I’ll start going through the rest of the data I took from the Merlyn mainframe.” 

The further she delved however, the more she realized she needed to see Unidac’s work, and Unidac had been funded by Queen Consolidated’s Applied Sciences department. If there was any evidence left of the what this device was there was a chance it was there, which meant she could get that information much faster from her desk in the IT department. 

She didn’t want to leave. It tore at her to know that Diggle was on his way to rescue Oliver and she would’t be there when he got back. With a shuddering breath she recalled that her arrogant installation of a trojan on the Merlyn system was the reason they hadn’t found the device earlier and now she needed to right that wrong. 

Felicity typed out a quick text to Diggle to let him know where she was going, and to call her as soon as he had Oliver. 

Luckily it was late enough there was no one around she knew and she wasn’t interrupted by idle chatter. Once she was in the internal system Queen Consolidated used it didn’t take long to break into the password protected files of the applied sciences division. Half an hour later she had uploaded the design schematics to Merlyn’s device and had checked her phone at least a hundred times waiting on Diggle to call. 

Her heels beat out a sharp tattoo as she walked hurriedly out of the building. The shrill ring of her phone cut through the night air and she came to a complete stop to fumble with it, not noticing anyone around her. 

“Did you get him?” she asked immediately 

“I’ve got him.” Digg answered and she let out a shaky breath

“Oh thank god, is he ok?” 

“Mostly” it wasn’t the answer she wanted, but she’d take it. “What did you find?”

She ran a hand over her hair and exhaled sharply, the overwhelming relief she felt that he was alive hand’t quite settled within her yet. “I uh...I have the plans for the device. If we can find it...I can shut it down.” 

“Good. I’ll tell Oliver.” 

“Ok, I’m coming...” but she didn’t get to finish, a dark figure walked up to her, and she recognized him immediately. It was Detective Lance, Laurel’s father. 

“Ms. Smoak. Hope I’m not interrupting anything important.” he said evenly. Panic sliced through her as she wondered how much he had overheard. 

“Felicity?” Digg’s voice was tinny, and distant; her phone had fallen away from head. 

“Uh, sorry, mom, I’m going to have to call you back.” she said quickly and thumbed it off before turning back to the detective. 

“Ms. Smoak.” the detective said again and she turned wide eyes in his direction, “If you’ve got time in your busy schedule I’d like for you to come down to the station and answer a few questions.” but she knew it wasn’t a request. 

She gulped audibly and stared at him in stunned silence. 

He stretched a hand out behind him to his car in unspoken invitation, and she had no choice but to follow. 

He allowed her to sit in the passenger seat, and the one time she dared ask him why he wanted to talk to her, he insisted they wait until they go to the precinct before he said. 

She’d never been inside a police station before, and she felt more like a timid mouse than a member of the Hood’s team as he guided her through a maze of desks. 

By the time she was asked to leave all her personal belongings with the desk sergeant her heart was pounding so loudly she was afraid she’d have some sort of cardiac event right there in front of the drunk handcuffed to a bench. 

Lance pushed open the door to the interview room and asked her to take a seat, the slam of the door made her rethink her request to stand. 

She knew this was about Oliver, or rather, about the Hood, and her fears were confirmed when he began running through a long list of suspicious activity they’d found on her computer at Queen Consolidated, and everything connected her to the Hood. 

Her stomach dropped, and she mentally railed against her stupidity to not cover her tracks better. No more hacking outside of the lair, she vowed. 

Lance was interrupted when his phone rang, and she silently thanked whoever was allowing her this reprieve. 

She tried to show no reaction when she heard the voice modulator even from across the room. It was Oliver. 

She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but Lance’s body language changed drastically, and she assumed he had told him about the device. 

“Looks like it’s your lucky day.” Lance said to her, looking decidedly paled than he had a few minutes ago. His head jerked towards the door. “Don’t leave town.” he ordered, and she scrambled to her feet. 

As she hit the door though, something compelled her to stop. “You know, I used to think the vigilante was a criminal too. But...seems to me, whoever he is, he’s willing to sacrifice an awful lot to help the people of this city.” she tried to keep the emotion out of her voice, but she failed. “Kind of makes him a hero, doesn’t it?” Before Lance could respond she shut the door behind her. 

She retrieved her things and headed straight to the street. It was hard finding a cab this late, and she almost considered calling Digg, but she got lucky and a car pulled up just in time. 

“Club Verdant” she said breathlessly and sank back into the seat, exhaustion creeping in on her. Her emotions were all over the place. She went from abject guilt and self loathing over not wiping her work computer, to heart flipping need to see Oliver with her own eyes, to terrified desperation that they weren’t going to be able to stop Merlyn in time. 

The club wasn’t open when she arrived, and she raced around back to the rear entrance. Felicity punched in her code and then clattered down the metal staircase. 

“Oliver!” she desperately called out halfway down, and she stilled as he appeared on the floor before her. 

His face was battered, and he had white tape wrapped around his torso, but he was standing and breathing, and she couldn’t ask for more than that. 

She flew down the remaining steps and launched herself at him. He caught her with a grunt, but wrapped his arms securely around her as she buried her face in his neck and babbled about how she didn’t think she’d see him again. 

“I’m sorry.” she said over and over until he finally set her down and took her face in his hands

“What could you possibly be apologizing for?” 

“For tipping off Merlyn, and making Lance suspect me, and for not having a better way to track you.” she trailed off, her hand brushing over every bruise and cut she could find. “And for not figuring out that Merlyn was the other archer.” 

His hand stilled hers, “We’re all guilty of that.” he said darkly, and sat her down. When he turned around she could see the mass of mottled bruising that used to be his shoulder and ribs and she gasped aloud. 

“What did he do to you?” she said in a horrified whisper, and couldn’t stop herself from tracing a hand over the worst of it. 

“I’ll be fine.” he said definitively

She ignored his macho posturing, “Did you use the salve, with the stuff from the island?” Her head swiveled from Oliver to Digg who was trying to avoid her look. 

“You didn’t, did you? You just got the crap beat out of you by a psychopath, and held captive, and god only knows what else that I don’t even know about, and all you did was have Digg tape your ribs. Am I right?” her fear came out as anger, and she stood before him, arms crossed, furious that he couldn’t make the smallest of efforts. “And now you have to go out there, and fight him again.” her voice broke. She took a deep breath to keep her chin from wobbling but it was pointless, “How are you supposed to shoot people with arrows if you don’t take care of yourself.”

He actually grinned at the absurdity of her statement and she couldn’t help but give him a watery smile in return. 

The action calmed her, and she set back on her heels and studied the two men in front of her. “So, what do we do now?” 

Silence stretched between them as the weight of what they’d taken on settled in the space. 

Oliver grimaced as he tugged a shirt over his head, and handed her the small pot of stage makeup they kept on hand to cover his regularly occurring injuries. 

She looked at him over the top of her glasses, but sat her bag aside and took her coat off before she pushed him to sit down so she could see better. 

“I think I need to go talk to my mother. She may have a way of finding out from Merlyn when he plans on setting off the device, or where he has it stored.” his jaw was tight, and she couldn’t stop from smoothing it with her thumb as she applied the concealer. 

She nodded stiffly, “I’ll keep digging through the data I pulled from the Merlyn mainframe. Maybe he’s hidden the location in there, although I doubt it.” 

Her hands stilled as she considered the implications if they didn’t find it in time. “When you called Lance earlier, you were telling him to evacuate the Glades, weren’t you?” 

“Yeah,” he said sharply and stood up to pace away from her. 

Oliver looked back and locked his eyes on Diggle, “You’ll stay here and...” an unspoken moment stretched between them that she didn’t understand. 

“No place else I need to be.” Digg confirmed

“I’ll be back as soon as I can. If I find anything I’ll let you know.” Oliver said to them. His hand ran down her arm and tangled their fingers all too briefly before he grabbed his jacket and took the stairs two at a time. 

“Let’s get to work, jailbird.” Digg said as the sound of the metal door slamming shut reverberated around them. 

She clucked in mock outrage at his comment, “You two are bad influences on me. I’ve never even so much as had a parking ticket, and now you’ve got me breaking any number of federal and most likely international, laws.” 

Felicity made her way to the bank of computers and pulled the flash drive from her purse which held the schematics she’d downloaded. 

Digg had proven to be relatively proficient when it came to technology, so she didn’t mind when he sat next to her and began working as well. 

She whistled low under her breath as the diagrams appeared. Deactivating the device was not going to be easy. 

Diggle peeked over to see what she was working on, “Damn. That does not look like good.” 

“No, not at all.” she agreed

“If Merlyn’s moved it, do you think it’s already in place?” he queried

“Possibly,” she said, distracted as another file opened and she got a better look at the mechanism that controlled the machine directly. 

“Maybe we should focus on finding out where it is then.” Digg said pointedly, and she tore her gaze from the monitor to look at him. 

“What? Sorry.” He was looking at her in exasperation

“The device. We need to find out where it is first, or all the schematics in the world aren’t going to help us.” 

“Right,” she agreed “Ok then, let’s see where you like to hide things, Malcolm Merlyn.” 

Two hours later Digg was cleaning weapons and she was about to pull her hair out in frustration. 

“There is nothing here that gives me any idea where it could be.” she pushed back from the desk and stretched her back, letting out a sigh when it popped satisfactorily. 

Digg slid into her spot and she heard him clicking keys, but she didn’t expect him to find anything. 

“If you were Merlyn, where would you put it?” she said aloud as she paced the workspace

“Someplace no one would find it.” he offered

“Obviously. Pull up a list of all of Merlyn’s holdings in the Glades.” she instructed but when Digg let out a groan she turned to see the majority of the area was lit up red. 

“That’s not going to help us narrow it down, is it?” she said dejectedly

Oliver’s chest from the island was closed, but the book rested on top, and she picked it up without thought. 

As she flipped through it she kept coming back to the symbol in the front that they now knew was a map of the Glades. A thought came to her, and she slowly made her way to stand behind Digg. 

“Pull up a map of the Glades” 

Her tone must have held something because he turned to look at her and then did as she requested. 

“Scooch.” she commanded, and took her seat back when he vacated it. On the next screen she pulled up a USGS map of Starling City and focused in on the Glades as well. 

A few quick keystrokes and she had the display showing her only the fault lines that ran through the area. 

“If you were going to set off a device that could trigger seismic activity, where would you put it? I don’t mean the building. I mean it’s actual physical location.” 

Digg crowded in next to her, and she could see understanding cross his face. “I think I’d put it underground.” he answered.

“Exactly.” she swiped her fingers over the touchpad and overlaid the map of the glades with the geologic map of the fault lines. “Guess where the largest fault in the Glades runs?” 

“Right under the old subway line.” Digg said, and she zoomed in on the stretch of tunnel that cut right through the center of the Glades. 

“What have you found?” Oliver’s voice boomed across the space, and she spun in her chair to face him. 

She couldn’t read his expression and that scared her. His face was completely shuttered, and his body language screamed ‘stay away!’. 

“Felicity may have found something.” Digg said

As she explained what she’d discovered he came to stand beside her. 

“The device must be somewhere along the old subway line.” she concluded, and Oliver stared at the screen hard. 

“I know where it is.” he said suddenly but before he could explain his phone rang.

“Now is not a good time.” he practically growled to whoever was on the other end. 

“What channel?” he barked, and she looked at Digg in confusion. 

Then he was coming back to them, “Felicity, pull up the local news please.” and she scrambled to do as he asked. 

Moira Queen was on the screen, standing behind a podium filled with microphones. They watched in stunned silence as she accepted responsibility for her part in the Undertaking and called Malcolm Merlyn out publicly for being the mastermind behind the entire plan.

Felicity slid her hand into Oliver’s where it hung limp by his side, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

When the press conference was done and the reporters began to speak on what they’d just heard she shut the feed off. 

Oliver pulled away and stood with his back to them in front of the chest. 

She rose to follow, but stopped before she got to him. “Oliver, I’m sorry.” she said with a shaky voice.

“Don’t be. She gave those people a chance.” his tone was harsh and he flipped open the lid to the chest. 

“I thought Merlyn broke your bow.” Digg said and she whipped her head towards him in shock. 

“I have another.” Oliver stated and pulled out a simple black bow she’d never seen before. 

God, she wanted to make this better for him. She wanted to take him away where family and friends didn’t betray, and where life was simple, but that wasn’t their reality. 

Right then, the man who stood in front of her was mostly the Hood, and if she tried to approach him as anything but she’d be locked out. 

“I was looking over the design schematics. It can be set for a timed detonation or be remote activated by a mobile transmitter.” she explained as unemotionally as possible

“Something Merlyn could have on him.” Oliver said

“Maybe if we get the transmitter we don’t have to find the device.” Digg suggested but Oliver was shaking his head. 

“It’s too big an if. I need you in the subway to find the device.” 

“So you can take on Merlyn yourself?” Digg almost scoffed, and she saw Oliver’s jaw tighten. 

“I have to.” he ground out

“He’ll kill you Oliver.” Digg spat back and she could hardly keep standing as she watched Oliver. 

“I know.” he said slowly, but wouldn’t meet her eye

Her knees buckled at his words, and if Digg hadn’t caught her by the elbow and guided her to the chair she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t have ended up on the floor. 

“You can’t.” she gasped out, all promises to stay detached had just been broken. 

“He’s beaten me twice and I have no idea how to stop him.” Oliver continued like she hadn’t even spoken.

She flew to her feet and stood toe to toe with him, forcing him to acknowledge her, “You’re not giving up! You’re not going to die!” she choked out, his image blurring before her. “You’re going to take Digg with you this time, and he’s going to cover your six or whatever it is they say in the military, and you are going to beat him. Do you understand me, Oliver Queen? You are not going to die.” she repeated, her finger drilling into his chest as she spoke. “You are going to come back to m...” a sob cut her off and finally he reacted to her. 

Oliver’s hand reached out and grasped her behind the neck to tug her forward. She fell against him, and clung tight. “Okay,” he said softly into her hair, “Okay.” and she let out a shuddering breath of relief. 

“She beat me to it.” Digg said, coming up behind them, “I’m not going to let you do this by yourself. You’re not alone. Not since you brought us into this. Besides, Army regulations. A soldier never lets a brother go into battle alone.” 

Felicity turned in Oliver’s arms and watched as Digg held his hand out, there was only the slightest hesitation before Oliver clasped the hand offered him. “I’m all out of bows.” he said

“It’s ok, I’ve got my gun.” Digg answered cockily. 

She swiped at her wet face and turned back to Oliver, “Guess it’s up to me to do the dismantling.” she said with forced levity

The bow clattered to the ground as Oliver dropped it in order to grasp her upper arms and make her face him. “This area is ground zero, I want you out of here.” she could see the change in his face, this wasn’t the Hood any longer, this was Oliver again, and the struggle he was having right then was about to drag him under. 

She gave him a tender smile and slowly raised a hand to brush across his cheek, “If you’re not leaving, I’m not leaving. If I don’t deactivate the device, who will?” 

He held her gaze and then let his forehead drop to hers, “Please Felicity. I need you to be safe.” 

“If we don’t stop this, no one will be. I knew what I was doing when I signed on.” she said gently

“I can’t...I feel like I’m losing everything right now, and...” he sounded desperate

“You’re not going to lose me.” she said with all the conviction she could summon.

“You’re right, because you’re not going into the subway.” he stated, and before she could voice another protest he was pulling back and taking his phone out. 

A few minutes later he’d convinced Detective Lance to track down the device in the subway with Felicity providing tech support over the phone. 

“Oliver, I don’t know.” she said, unconvinced “This is a complicated machine. What if he can’t explain it to me correctly, what if he doesn’t understand what I’m telling him.” her mind spun with the millions of ways this could go wrong. 

“You’ll just have to make him understand because you’re not going down there.” and there was no doubt that she wasn’t going to change his mind. 

Finally after having a silent battle of wills with him she nodded her consent. 

“Head back to your place, or work, or even the mansion. You’ll be safe there.” Oliver ordered, as he stepped away to begin suiting up. 

“I can’t leave!” she protested, following after him “All my data is here. It would take too long to upload everything to another computer.” 

“We’re in the middle of the Glades, you can’t stay here!” he shot back over his shoulder

“I’ll be ok. This building is solid concrete and steel. It’s probably one of the safest places in the Glades.” she hoped she sounded convincing. Oliver wasn’t to know that a seismic event of the magnitude that device was capable of producing wouldn’t care very much whether a building was made of steel or wood. 

He paused and looked around, seemingly considering the very materials that surrounded them. 

“You’re sure.” he asked, and she swallowed hard before she reassured him that she would be fine. 

Too soon he and Digg were standing in front of her while she handed over earpieces. “Come back, okay, just...come back. Both of you.” she could barely get the words out. 

Digg dropped a brotherly kiss to her hair and was gone before she could respond. Oliver stood before her, the paint on his face doing nothing to mask his feelings. 

“Stay safe. And don’t hesitate to get out of here if it’s the right thing to do.” his voice was thick with emotion, and she could only nod. 

He reached for her at the same moment she reached for him. They crashed together. His mouth fused on hers. It was desperate, and needy, and all she could think was that it could not be the last time she kissed him. 

She pulled back reluctantly “Go,” she ordered, and shut her eyes tight until she felt him pass by her. 

This was what she had felt coming. This was the very very bad.


	10. chapter 10

A/N: Continues with the finale, 1x23. Enjoy!

 

 

Felicity stood still for a long while after Oliver left. When she managed to cajole her legs into working she sat slumped in her chair; numb. It was only the ringing of her phone that jarred her from her stupor. 

“Ms. Smoak. Long time no speak.” Lance said in a strained voice. 

“One moment Detective and I’ll patch you through to our...I mean my...I mean.” she sighed heavily and decided to forgo any attempt at subterfuge, “Our communications system.” 

“You know, one day I’d like to hear how a nice girl like you got involved with the Hood.” 

“If we do our jobs tonight maybe you’ll get that chance.” she replied and then she could hear him in her earpiece, but Oliver and Digg could not. 

She’d decided to keep herself on mute to them, and had asked them to do the same. There was no way she could listen to Oliver fight Malcolm Merlyn again. 

“I’m in the subway, but I’m not really sure what I’m looking for.” Lance said, sounding a little breathless

“Would you like me to describe it to you Detective.” she offered, but Lance cut her off before she could continue. 

“Never mind.” his voice dropped, “I found it.”

She took a deep breath, and adjusted her glasses. “There should be something that looks like a circuit board. Take it out.” all she could hear was the sound of Lance’s breathing. 

“Do you see a timer?” she asked

“Seven minutes.” 

“Okay,” she gasped out, “Well, good news is, this is going to be a paperweight in three.” she hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt. 

She talked Lance through which wires to cut, but the relief of him finding the right one was only temporary. 

She heard a high pitched whirring sound and then Lance said “Holy god!” 

“No, no, no, no, no!” he cried, and her stomach dropped

“There must be some sort of anti-tamper safe guard.” she explained as she searched the schematics for a way to shut it down. “Hold on, I’m going to figure out a way to over ride it.”

“There’s not enough time.” Lance said, panic evident, “There’s not enough time!” 

“Just hold on.” she told him

“There’s not enough time.” he repeated, but she refused to give up

It was hard to concentrate when she heard him call his daughter. From the sound of it Laurel was at CNRI which was almost sitting on top of the device. Tears pricked Felicity’s eyes as she listened to him tell his daughter goodbye. She swiped at her face, and redoubled her efforts.

“Detective Lance, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” 

She could hear Lance struggling as she told him what to do. As tense and scared as she was right then, she couldn’t imagine how he felt being the one responsible for shutting it down. 

There was a beep, and then Lance let out a long exhale. “Good work, Ms. Smoak.” he said, making no effort to hide the relief in his voice. 

She muted Lance hastily, and pressed the earpiece to connect to Oliver, every fiber of her just hoping that he would be there to respond. 

“Oliver, Lance did it.” she said breathlessly

There was silence, for too long, and then she heard him. “It’s over.” he growled

“If I’ve learned anything as a successful businessmen, it’s redundancy.” Merlyn’s pained voice was weak, but righteous. 

Fear gripped her as she considered what he meant, but it was Oliver that said it aloud, “Felicity...there’s another device. There’s two of them.” 

The first tremors began shaking the building and she clutched the table in front of her as mortar dust began to fall all around. 

Sparks shot over her head when cables snapped and she couldn’t help letting out an involuntary cry. 

“Felicity!” Oliver came over the comm, and she tired to calm herself before she answered him,

“I’m here.” she said weakly, and looked warily at the hundreds of tons of metal and concrete that was above her. 

“Are you ok?” he demanded

She was as about as far from ok as she had ever been, but there was nothing Oliver could do about it. There was no way for him to get back to the club in time. 

‘Time to be brave, Smoak.’ she told herself,

“Yeah,” she half whispered, cringing as a stronger tremor hit. 

“I turned the damn thing off!” Lance’s voice interrupted them

“There was a second device.” she told him

“Laurel...she’s at CNRI!” he exclaimed, and then all she heard was static. 

“Felicity!” Oliver called again, and she couldn’t hide her tears when she answered.

“Oliver,” she said shakily “The damage is worse on the east side. You’re close...you should...Laurel’s at CNRI. You should go.” she could barely get the words out. She clapped a hand over her mouth as the next tremor caused shelving to fall over and the lights flickered dangerously. 

“Felicity, no! I’m coming back!”

“No! Go help the people you can!” she ordered, “I’m in a foundry. I’ll be fine. I promise.” and they both knew she was lying. 

“Felicity...” he could barely say her name

“I know.” she choked out, and then deliberately cut the comm link. 

She knew she didn’t have much time. Working as quickly as her shaking hands would allow she plugged in a spare external hard drive and began doing a massive data dump in an attempt to save as much as their work as she could. 

She scanned the space quickly and realized the safest place would be an alcove, cut into the rock and shored up by cinder block. It wasn’t large, and they only used it for storage, but it gave her the best chance of not being crushed if the entire club collapsed on top of her. 

With strength and speed she never knew she had, Felicity quickly emptied the space and then filled it again, but this time with every medical supply she could move, and a small back up generator she’d insisted Oliver buy, ‘just in case’. The last thing she drug over was Oliver’s heavy chest he’d brought from the island. 

There was only enough room for her to crouch low in the corner, and she raced back to the computers, barely glancing at how two of the monitors had already been crushed by falling debris. 

The strongest tremor yet threw her to the ground, and she cried out in pain as a large chunk of concrete grazed her shoulder and left arm. Felicity felt dazed, and it seemed like it took her too long before she pulled herself up. She yanked the cord on the hard drive, before grabbing her tablet and half stumbled, half crawled to the alcove. 

As she huddled in the corner, the building seemed to sway above her, which she didn’t even think was possible. Then there was a groaning noise, and then silence before everything crashed down. 

Felicity curled in the corner and wrapped her arms over her head; the noise was deafening. Dust choked the air and made it hard to breathe. 

When she dared look up she could only see faint cracks of light where the opening had been. Now, there was nothing but broken I-beams, and huge slabs of concrete. 

“Oh god,” she gasped aloud and her breathing became erratic. She was going to die, trapped under a night club. An empty night club, some rational part of her brain informed her. An empty night club that would get passed over when search and rescue got to the area, because no one was supposed to be in it. 

Her left arm was numb, and all she managed to do when she pushed on the pile with her right was break her nails and scrape her palms. 

She could only hope that Oliver returned soon, but even then she didn’t know how bad the damage was in the rest of the lair. 

The tablet was still in her lap and she opened it in desperation. The light was comforting, and other than being incredibly dirty it was still working. But there was no signal, and no way to use it to communicate with anyone. 

Dust was visible in the air. She coughed weakly, and tried not to breath too deep. Now that the initial adrenaline was wearing off, she felt weak and light headed. 

The cinder block wall dug painfully into her back, but she had no room to move. She couldn’t even reach the drawer of the medical cart to grab a bandage for her arm which she could tell was bleeding, but couldn’t make out how badly. Truth be told, she figured she was better off not knowing. 

Every five minutes or so she’d open the tablet to check the time, and provide some light in the space. It made it easier to wait. Her eyes grew heavy. The possibility that something had hit her in the head flitted through her mind, but she didn’t dwell on it. 

Faint voices calling her name snapped her out of her half awake state. At first she thought she was imagining it, and then she heard it again. 

“Felicity!” it was Oliver, and then Digg joined him, and she couldn’t call out immediately because she was sobbing too hard. 

“Oliver!” finally erupted from her throat, “Oliver! I’m over here!” she called. 

“Felicity!” his voice was closer, and she could see shadows through the cracks. “Are you in there?” 

“I’m here!” she cried desperately

“Just hang on, we’ll get you out.” 

She heard them struggle as they shifted the remains of the building out of the way. When the first sizable hole opened up she sobbed again. 

There was the sound of both of them grunting with effort and then she could see him. Worry and pain were sketched all over his face, but she’d never been more glad to lay eyes on him. 

He didn’t say a word, he just reached in and hauled her out. Her legs scraped over the rough concrete, and the hand on her arm made her cry out in pain, but she didn’t care. 

They ended up in a heap together on the littered floor. She was sitting on his outstretched legs, his arms wrapped so tightly around her it was difficult to breathe. 

She just clutched the strap of his quiver for purchase and burrowed her face under his chin. His hand stroked over her hair and she could hear the wild thumping of his heart under her ear. 

“Why didn’t you leave?” he rasped out

She shook her head against his chest, “There wasn’t any time. I had to get the data, and save what I could, and...”

She felt him lift his head, and look towards where she had been. “Don’t ever do it again.” he said raggedly into her hair. 

She nodded tightly. “I can’t lose anyone else.” his voice cut off and she pulled back to look at him. 

“What happened?” she demanded, and really looked at him for the first time. The haggard expression, and devastated look he had wasn’t just from being beat by Merlyn. The paint that had been around his eyes was all but gone, but what was left had what looked like tear tracks in it. 

Oliver’s eyes shut tight as if he couldn’t look at her when he said what she heard next, “Tommy. Tommy’s gone.” 

“No!” she gasped out, tears filling her vision once again. He opened pain filled eyes and she pulled him to her this time. His head lay pillowed on her chest and she kept running a hand over his head, providing any bit of comfort she could give him. 

She was so absorbed in sharing his grief that she didn’t notice at first when he went limp against her. There was a change in his breathing, and her hand stilled over his head. “Oliver...” she said warily

When he didn’t respond she struggled to hold him back enough to see. The most she could do was tip his chin up to see his face. He was pale, and unconscious. Fear ripped through her. Her hand fell down his chest and she lifted it back to see blood on her palm. 

“Oliver! Wake up!” she said wildly, but he didn’t so much as blink. Her heart thumped so hard she thought it may burst from her chest. 

It was practically impossible to support his weight while she moved off of him, and she winced as his head lolled roughly to the side before she could ease him back. 

The silence around them startled her and with dread she realized she hadn’t heard a word from Digg since they’d dug her out. 

Felicity whipped her head around and saw him behind her. Digg sat slumped against a pile of debris, his breathing labored. 

He raised a weak hand when he saw her eyes on him. 

“Oh god, Digg!” she exclaimed and crawled hastily over to him. “What happened?” 

“He stabbed himself to kill Merlyn.” Digg explained. 

“What?!” she exclaimed, “He was...” and she almost retched right there. 

“He did what he had to do, Felicity.” 

She looked at him closer and saw the dark stains on his jacket and pant leg. “You’re hurt.” she said unnecessarily. 

“I’ll keep.” he assured her, “He may have nicked his lung, I don’t know.” 

All the blood drained from her face and she turned back to Oliver. Memories struck her hard as she unzipped his top and saw the ragged, raw wound high on his left side. This was bad. This was gun shot wound in the back of her car bad.

She stumbled back to the alcove, and managed to move two fairly large pieces of concrete in order to get to the cart. She couldn’t get it all the way out, but the drawers opened. 

Felicity grabbed handfuls of gauze, and alcohol, and a few suture kits and eyed the defibrillator warily. She hoped she wouldn’t have a need for it. 

The way Oliver was sitting it was impossible to access the entrance and exit wounds. 

“Digg,” she called “We need to move him.” she hated to ask, she knew he was hurt and needed help too, but she didn’t know what else to do. 

He didn’t say a word, but pulled himself to his feet and shuffled over. She tried to help, but he brushed her off. Digg knelt down, and with an almost inhuman roar picked Oliver up and placed him over his shoulder. 

“Oh god!” she exclaimed, “Okay, bring him over here.” she directed. 

There was one table in one corner that had barely been hit. Other than mortar dust it was clean and undamaged. 

Digg’s face was contorted in pain as he dumped Oliver unceremoniously onto the flat surface and then promptly collapsed next to it. Felicity only just stretched her hand out in time to place it between Oliver’s head and the table. 

“Sorry,” Digg gasped out, using the legs behind him for support. 

“It’s ok. Let me just...let me just get him patched up and then I’ll fix you.” she was trying so hard to not completely lose it, but having both of them injured was pushing her well past her breaking point. 

She got Oliver’s arm out of the sleeve, but let him rest on it to provide some sort of barrier of protection against the dirt and dust that coated everything. 

The holes weren’t large, but they went through and through and she had no idea what kind of internal damage had been done. Or how close it had come to piercing his heart. 

She cleaned them quickly and did her best with the stitches. He’d have more scars, but she’d take a million scars if it meant he was alive. 

The wound on his back was worse. The tears were jagged where the point of the arrow had torn through, in both directions it seemed as she looked closer, and she wished someone with some actual medical training could be doing this instead of her. 

There were several trips back to the medical cart for tape and shots of antibiotics that she really didn’t know how to give properly, but she winced for him as the needle sunk in. 

Digg was half conscious when she got to him. The blood had dried so much it was difficult to peel the fabric away from the wound. 

He came to enough to help her slide his arm out of the sleeve, and then shut his eyes again to rest as she resorted to cutting the t-shirt away. 

She gasped at the two inch long tear. The edges were ragged, and she suspected the knife had been serrated. 

“Oh Digg,” she said softly, “Maybe we should get you to a hospital.” 

“Just do it, Felicity. You got this.” he told her

“I wish I had half the faith in myself that you do.” she replied, but gathered what she needed.

She worked in silence, occasionally glancing up at Oliver to make sure he was still breathing and down at Digg to ensure he was doing the same. The wound on Digg’s leg was worse. She didn’t know how he’d managed to make it back to the lair on it. 

“Do you want something for the pain?” she asked, noticing the sheen of sweat that had broken out across his face. 

He shook his head no. “Can’t. Don’t want to pass out.” but she could see how much he hurt.

“How about I just numb it?” she suggested, and he agreed. 

She was rummaging in the drawers looking for the local anesthetic when the sound of the metal door to the basement banging open and crashing into the wall echoed around the room. 

Felicity froze. She turned slowly and peered into the darkness. At the top of the stairs she could just make out a figure, silhouetted in the doorway. 

Cold fear washed down her back. She had never thought to secure the lair.


	11. Chapter 11

It had never occurred to Felicity that she would need to secure the lair. Her wide startled eyes slid to Digg. He’d heard it too. His gun was in his hand, but he could’t pull himself up. He waved her over, and she abandoned the cart to get to his side as quickly as possible. 

Oliver still lay on the table above them, Hood disguise evident to anyone who might come down. 

“Who is it? Looters?” she asked, worried

Digg shrugged one shoulder, not wasting time with words. “Find a weapon.” he ordered and she looked around, lost. When her eyes landed on Oliver’s discarded quiver she pulled an arrow from it and held it up proudly. 

Digg just raised an eyebrow, “What? It’s one of the ones that explodes.” she said, and showed him the pointy end. 

He muttered something under his breath about weapons training, but she stopped listening when the person at the top of the stairs called out. 

“Hello! Is anyone there? Is Oliver Queen here?” he sounded young and scared, and when she peeked over Oliver it looked like the person was holding something. 

“Get down!” Digg hissed and pulled her back

“Is Mr. Queen here? His sister is hurt...please!” there was a break in the desperate plea and she was up and around the table before Digg could do anything.

“Felicity!” he hissed at her, but she ignored him. 

She stuck to the shadows as much as she could, and tried not to make any noise, but her shoe caught a cable and sent a small avalanche of concrete falling down. 

“Is someone there?” the voice called again. 

Felicity was closer now and when she looked up she could see a vaguely familiar face holding Thea Queen.

“Oh my god, Thea!” Felicity exclaimed and rushed up the stairs, the arrow long forgotten. 

“Is she alright? What happened?” she asked as soon as she reached them. Thea had a gash along her temple and blood ran down the side of her face. Felicity looked at the kid again and realized he was the boyfriend, the one Oliver had saved. 

“Come on, bring her down here.” Felicity led the way, all thought of revealing the biggest secret in Starling City having flown from her mind in an effort to help Oliver’s sister. 

“I’m Felicity. Felicity Smoak.” she provided, stepping carefully around down electrical cables. 

“Roy Harper.” he said

“I remember.” 

He stopped short when he saw Oliver laid out on the table and Digg who had managed to get himself to one knee and had his gun leveled on the newcomers. 

“Down, boy.” Felicity commanded, “It’s Thea, she’s hurt.” 

Digg gave her an incredulous look and flicked the safety back on. “Oliver is not going to be happy.” 

“Oliver can yell at me all he wants if he wakes up.” she retorted, panic and stress threatening to overwhelm her again. 

Roy, to his credit, kept his mouth shut at the obvious reveal that Oliver was the Hood. 

“Here, lay her down here.” Felicity said and shrugged out of her thin sweater to put under Thea’s head. When she went to pull it off her left arm she cried out. The injury she’d forgotten about had made itself known. 

“Felicity...” Digg said, concerned

“I’m ok.” she said, taking long slow breaths through her nose until the nausea subsided. 

She gritted her teeth as she took it off the rest of the way, but couldn’t bring herself to look at it. 

Roy didn’t move far after he put Thea down, his hand grasped hers and it took only one look to know that he truly cared for her. 

“What happened?” Felicity asked gently as she pushed the girl’s matted hair aside to get a better look. 

Roy scrubbed a rough hand over his head, “She was supposed to be getting out of the Glades. I was helping some people, but I made her leave in a truck. I don’t know what happened...I came across the truck later but the front end was completely smashed in. She was...” he hid his face in his hands at the memory, “she was on the ground...I don’t know...”

“Ok, ok.” she said soothingly and grabbed one of his hands in hers, “We’ll do what we can here, but she really should go to a hospital.” 

“No! She can’t go anywhere! She’s a Queen! Do you know what could happen if people recognized her, or him!” he said, wildly gesturing towards Oliver. “The public would tear them limb from limb if they caught sight of them.” he was practically vibrating with fear 

The thought struck her and she realized he was right. 

“Ok, then you’re going to have to help me.” she was starting to shake again. Somehow she had ended up with everyones life in her hands. 

“What do I need to do?” he said eagerly “Are you a nurse or a doctor or something?” his eyes cut to the obviously treated Digg and Oliver and the ground around her that was littered with discarded supplies. 

“No, I’m just IT.” she said quietly 

Digg actually harumphed at this “Just IT, my ass.” he slurred, “Like I’m just the chauffeur.” 

Digg had meant his comment to be supportive, and any other time she would have taken it like that, but faced with yet another gravely injured person in her care, she could feel all resolve leaving her. 

Tears flooded her eyes, and she could do nothing to keep them from spilling over. “I am! I’m computers, and hacking, and tracking the bad guy. I don’t know anything about taking care of someone. I don’t even have a gold fish! If I did it would be dead, I haven’t stepped foot in my apartment in days. I don’t know the last time I ate. I was interrogated by the police, and stopped one doomsday device, only to miss the second and get buried alive in a superhero’s secret lair! So no, Roy, I am not a nurse or a doctor, or even a veterinarian. I’m just IT.” tears choked her and she couldn’t speak anymore. 

Everything felt numb, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Digg or even Roy just then. 

“Then I guess IT means a lot more than I thought it did, because you seem pretty badass to me.” Roy said

She couldn’t help the half smile that crossed her face. She used blood and dirt stained hands to wipe her face and was sure she’d be a mess, but it didn’t matter.

“Thank you, Roy.” she said sincerely 

“Anytime, Ms. Smoak.” he replied and she wrinkled her nose.

“No. Only Detective Lance gets to call me Ms. Smoak.” and although Roy didn’t understand he tilted his head in acknowledgment. 

Felicity took a deep breath and looked back at Thea. Other than the head wound she didn’t appear to have any additional injuries, but her breathing was shallow and there seemed to be a long time in between breaths which Felicity didn’t like. 

“Roy, see that space over there where half the nightclub landed? I need you to dig out the rest of the medical cart and wheel it over here.” if she could get Thea hooked up to the monitors she’d feel better about what was going on. 

Roy didn’t hesitate, and he was stronger than he looked if the way he tossed aside concrete was any indication. 

“Grab that back up generator as well.” she said over her shoulder. 

It didn’t take him long to do as she had asked. “Here, clean up her head while I hook all this together, alright.” 

She felt more at ease with cables and plugs than saline and gauze, and she gave a sigh of relief when the monitors came on just like they were supposed to. 

Thea’s heart rate was slow, and her oxygen levels weren’t so great either. Felicity didn’t want to worry Roy, but she didn’t know how this was going to play out. 

“What are you going to do?” he asked nervously, once again clutching Thea’s hand in his. 

“Start an IV and stitch closed that gash on her head before it can get any worse.” she said evenly and missed his look of astonishment

“You are so not just IT.” he declared

“Careful Felicity, I think you’ve got a groupie.” Digg said and she leveled him with a look overtop her glasses. 

She gave Roy the job of holding the bag of saline as it dripped steadily into Thea’s arm. Her head only need a few stitches after Felicity got a look at it without the dried blood everywhere. 

Thea opened her eyes only once. She was very groggy and obviously confused. Roy had called her name and she’d tried to look at him but it seemed too difficult. Her eyes kept falling shut, but the last time they opened Felicity noticed the girl’s gaze fell onto the table behind them. 

“Ollie?” she managed to breathe out and then she was gone again. 

Felicity kept a close watch on the monitors and Thea’s heart rate steadily improved. She instructed Roy to grab the oxygen tank and mask, which made his face pale, but she assured him it was just a precaution. 

When Thea’s oxygen levels went up he relaxed a little. 

Roy’s eyes kept flitting from Thea to Oliver, and the green hood that was still so obviously laid out beneath him. 

“I never guessed. He saved me, and I’ve been trying to find him...” he said finally, “I even called him a wuss once.” and Felicity actually choked when she heard that. Wuss was the last word she would ever use to describe Oliver. 

“Definitely not a wuss.” she clarified

“How’d you become a part of this. I mean, you didn’t just learn about him, right?” 

Felicity placed the last piece of tape to keep the dressing down on Thea’s head, “It’s a long story. And no, I’ve been working with him for months.” her gaze settled on Oliver’s slack, bruised face and a wave of emotion struck her so forcefully it took her breath away. 

When she turned back Roy was very deliberately not looking at her.

“Here, I’ll hold that for a bit, you get yourself cleaned up.” she offered, and reached to take the bag from him but he wouldn’t relinquish it. 

“I’m fine.” he insisted 

“Rule number one of being a hero: Take care of yourself or you can’t take care of anyone else.”

“Is that really rule number one?” his eyes cut between her, and the prone forms of Oliver and Diggle and she could see the disbelief sketched across his face. 

“Well, it should be!” she protested, and shoved some of her supplies into his hands. “With that attitude you’ll fit in great.” she grumbled

“Doesn’t look like you follow your own advice too well.” he countered, and looked pointedly at her numerous injuries. 

She opened her mouth to respond and then snapped it shut, opting to glare at him instead. “I’m not a hero, so the rules don’t apply to me.” she threw back at him. 

“What do you call the person who takes care of the heros then?” his lips tugged into half a smile accompanied by a cocky tilt of his head. 

“Kid’s right.” came a voice from behind her and she spun so quick she made herself dizzy. 

Oliver was awake. 

She practically stepped on Digg in her haste to get to him. “Oh god! I didn’t know if you were going to wake up!” she exclaimed, as she peppered his face with kisses, and brushed her own tears off his cheeks. 

He hissed through his teeth when she leaned to heavily on his left side and she shot up, apologizing and smoothing her hands over his chest. One large hand captured hers and he brought it to his lips. “Thank you.” he said, and she wondered if he could tell how close to losing it she really was. 

Roy cleared his throat and Oliver’s eyes shot over her shoulder. He took in the bag of saline the boy held and then followed the line to it’s owner. 

“Thea?” he said in confusion as his eyes landed on his sister

“Shhh, it’s ok. She’s alright. But we’ve got to get back to the mansion.” she tried to keep him down, but he sat up under her hands. 

He made to get off the table but she pushed harder, and he stayed put. She saw him narrow his eyes at Roy, and then glance down to see that he was still in his Hood disguise. “Felicity.” he said, his tone low

“I didn’t have a choice! Thea was injured, and I had to help her. But Thea doesn’t know, ok. And we can keep it like that.” she failed to mention the moment when his sister had opened her eyes and seen her brother, but Felicity was hoping her disorientation would keep her from remembering. 

“I know you told me to stay away from the Hood, I mean, from you, but I really do want to work with you. I don’t care if you’re Thea’s brother.” Roy said haltingly, clearly overwhelmed at finally being in the presence of the man he idolized. 

“Now is not the time.” Oliver ground out, and slid off the table with Felicity’s help. She wrapped an arm around his waist and let him lean on her for support. 

“Digg.” Oliver said, his eyes never leaving Roy. 

“Yeah,” Digg replied

“You mobile?” 

Digg’s response was to pull himself to a standing position, even if he was swaying some on the spot. 

“Good, take the kid and go get the car.” It wasn’t a request

Roy looked torn, he clearly didn’t want to leave Thea. Felicity took pity on him and steadied Oliver against the table before she took the bag from him. “Go on, Diggle can’t drive with that leg. He’ll show you where the cars are and then you can come back and get Thea.” 

He handed the bag over slowly and crouched low to brush hair from Thea’s face. Felicity risked a glance at Oliver and he was glowering. 

“Wait!” Felicity called out before Roy had gone two steps, he turned and looked at her in confusion. “Give me your hoodie.” 

His brows crinkled, but he started to shuck his jacket. 

“He can’t go out there looking like that.” she said, and tilted her head towards Oliver, “His street clothes are buried under half a ton of rubble.” 

Roy’s face cleared as he understood and held the red jacket out hesitantly to Oliver, who took it without a word. 

“Thanks.” Felicity said for him 

Digg hadn’t even made it to the stairs, and Roy caught up to him easily. She was glad to see him offer assistance, and was ever more glad to see Digg accept it. 

“How is she?” Oliver asked, his face a mask now, and his tone that closed off one she hated. 

“I’m not sure...I think it was a car accident. Roy said he had told her to leave, and she did, but then...he found her...” his eyes darkened and she trailed off, more frightened of the look on his face than she was of the earthquake. 

“Oliver...” she said slowly and took one step towards him but he jerked back. Her breath caught in her throat and she tried not to be hurt. Felicity knelt next to Thea and busied herself with shutting off the IV while they moved her to hide how much Oliver had affected her. 

When she faced him again, he was staring at the floor, avoiding her and his sister. She approached him slowly and took the hoodie from his hands and laid it on the table next to him. 

Felicity reached for Oliver’s top and slid it off his right arm. “Don’t shut me out.” she pleaded, hating how desperate she sounded, but something was screaming at her from the inside telling her this was big. 

He started speaking and she had never heard him like that before, it was more than defeat, it was complete and total forfeit. “You were bright... so bright, and I thought it was enough to drag me out, and burn away all the darkness, but...it still has a hold on me. Maybe it always will.” this hollow, dead voice could not be Oliver’s. 

She invaded his space then, chest to chest, toe to toe. She grabbed hold of his face and made him look at her. “I’m so sorry about Tommy.” she blurted out, and he visibly flinched at her words. “I’m so sorry Thea got hurt.” he tried to pull away but she held him tighter. “But you saved this city. We saved this city! You can’t give up now.” 

He shook his head slowly and pulled her hands away, his fingers encircling her wrists. “No. I failed this city. I failed Tommy.” the hard tone broke and she could see him fight for control. 

“Stop it! People were saved because of you. They got out in time because of your actions. Half the Glades is still standing.”

“And half isn’t!” he roared, but she didn’t back down. He was trying to intimidate her, but she saw through it. 

She tried to pull her hands away but he held her tight. “It’s too soon. You can’t make any decisions right now.” she didn’t care if she sounded like she was begging, she felt like everything was slipping through her fingers and there was nothing she could do to stop it. 

Her head and her heart were pounding, “Don’t do this.” she whispered “Please”

Roy came running down the stairs but neither of them moved. 

“Big guy passed out in the car, but I think he’s ok.” He said and came to a skidding halt when he saw what he was walking in to. “Uh...sorry...”

They ignored him.

Their eyes were locked together and she wasn’t going to back down for anything. “Please,” she repeated, tears finally spilling over in complete abandonment of any humility she may have once had. Because she was all in. Not having him in her life was no longer an option for her. 

His hands loosened slightly and she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him as if the world depended on it. And maybe it did. 

He didn’t respond at first, and horror grew within her until, like a switch had been flipped, he kissed her back. One hand twisted in her ponytail, and the other clutched her hip to hold her solidly against him. 

He drew back with a ragged breath and let his head fall to the hollow of her neck, “Don’t let me. You can’t leave me.” 

“I won’t.” she promised over and over again until she thought he might be beginning to believe her. 

She smoothed her hand over his head one more time, “Come on, we need to get Thea out of here.” 

He didn’t answer, but he stepped around her and began to crouch down like he was going to pick Thea up. 

Roy stepped forward at the same time as Felicity. 

“Oliver, let Roy get her.” he shot a look over his shoulder, “You’ll tear your stitches out.” she admonished, “And I worked hard on those.” She slid Roy’s borrowed jacket over his arms, taking care with the left. 

With a sigh he stood straight but didn’t back up to give Roy any space. She made a mental note that they’d have to have a chat about the overprotective big brother routine he pulled out far too often. 

Roy lifted her easily, and Felicity hurried forward to lay the saline bag on Thea’s stomach and detach her from the oxygen. 

Oliver led the way. The car was waiting by the back entrance, and Felicity rushed forward to check on Digg. 

“How is he?” Oliver asked from behind her

“Just sleeping I think.” she said in relief

Roy looked around nervously. They could hear sirens from every corner and there were still shouts and screams as buildings continued to collapse. 

Oliver reluctantly slid into the back seat, “Give her here.” he ordered, and Roy transferred Thea to her brother. Felicity jumped in on the other side, and checked Thea’s pulse as Roy pulled away from Verdant. 

The roads weren’t as clogged as she thought they would be, but there were so many downed power lines and cracked pavements it made it hard to navigate. Roy was doing his best, but both Digg and Oliver groaned when he swerved suddenly to avoid debris and caused them to be thrown into the windows. 

A mile outside the Glades it didn’t look like anything was wrong except the power was out. She was amazed that Merlyn had managed to create something that could do such devastating, but precise damage. 

Once they hit open highway she sat back and let her eyes shut for the first time in so long she couldn’t remember. Her head spun, and she could feel herself start to shut down. The pain in her head that she’d been able to ignore until now, made itself known and throbbed mercilessly. 

The injury to her arm had never been bandaged, she realized, and it seemed like just acknowledging it made it flare to life. She hissed in pain and dropped her head to hide her face from Oliver. 

His hand slipped out from underneath Thea and reached over to cover hers. “You alright?” 

“Yeah,” she assured him, but the look he gave her let her know he didn’t believe her. 

Digg had woken up and directed Roy to enter the Queen estate through a back entrance. They pulled up at a side door and Digg got out stiffly and talked to the bodyguard on duty. 

Roy took Thea back and waited as Oliver and Felicity exited the car. She had to lay a hand on the door frame and shut her eyes for a long moment to get the world to stop spinning, but other than her head and her arm she was fine. 

“Take Thea to her room.” Oliver directed, and Roy looked at her for help. 

“I’ll show you the way.” she said, and left Digg and Oliver to assist each other into the house. 

“You’ve been here before.” Roy couldn’t help but look around in amazement at the opulence he had just stepped in to. 

“Just once, and it was not one of my finer moments.” she told him, a flush of embarrassment rose in her as she recalled standing in front of Moira Queen without any pants on. 

She thought she had remembered spying what looked like a teenager’s room when she had been trying to find her way out of the mansion all those months ago, and as they ascended the grand staircase, she directed Roy in the correct direction. 

The room he pushed open had to be Thea’s. Felicity rushed forward and pulled the covers back so he could lay her down. 

Her breathing was even and easy and her pulse was strong to Felicity’s great relief. 

Roy was shifting from one foot to the other and looked around the room several times, but always came back to focus on Thea. 

“I’m sure she’d like you to stay.” Felicity said as she fashioned a makeshift IV pole out of a hanger and the bed post. He looked like he wanted to bolt; that the differences in their lives was too much. She could relate to that. 

“You sure the Queen’s won’t mind.” he asked, but she noticed he took two steps closer to the bed 

“Oliver is the only other Queen here and I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” she assured him. “Speaking of which, I should go make sure they made it in alright. Just...yell real loud if you need something.” 

Halfway to the door a bout of dizziness hit her and she staggered sideways only to catch herself on a chair. 

“Hey, you alright, Ms...Felicity?” Roy called out

It passed just like it had outside, but the pain in her head had grown and she rubbed her temple to make it go away. Maybe Oliver wouldn’t mind if she claimed one of the guest rooms, just for a little while. 

“Felicity.” Roy called again and she waved him off

“I’m fine, just tired.” 

She held her arm tight to her chest, any little movement made it scream in agony and she realized that before rest she was going to need to have that seen to. 

She made it to the top of the staircase and saw Oliver and Digg only half way up. “You boys need a hand?” she asked

Two steps down her balance faltered as a roaring in her ears grew until it was all she could hear and her vision tunneled down to only the white spots that were now dancing in front of her eyes. She made a desperate grab for the railing and missed. The last thing she heard before she fell was Oliver yelling her name.


	12. chapter 12

A/N: This is the end. Hope you've enjoyed. Posting here has been a bit of an interesting experiment. This story was very well received on another site, hundreds of reviews, but for some reason here it's barely clipped anyone's radar. For those of you who did read, thank you. 

 

 

The absolute silence is what struck her the first time she awoke. If her head hadn’t been turned towards the windows to see Oliver where he stood stoic, the mid-afternoon sun making his outline hazy, she would have thought she was alone. 

She tried to call out, but her voice didn’t seem to do what she wanted. She was asleep again before she saw him turn. 

The second time she regained consciousness it was dark. There was a lit lamp on the table between the leather arm chairs. Felicity blinked several times before she could make out two forms; Oliver and Diggle. The latter had his injured leg propped up on a nearby stool and his head tipped back in deep sleep. Oliver stared, unblinking out into the room. 

Her head still throbbed, although not as badly as before. It was her arm that ached terribly. Felicity shifted uncomfortably and immediately regretted it. She let out a moan and shut her eyes tight. When she opened them the low light had been blocked out and Oliver filled the space next to the bed. His bed, she finally realized. 

“Felicity,” his voice sounded rough with disuse.

“...tired” she managed to get out. She saw his shoulders slump slightly before he raised a hand and brushed tangled hair out of her face. 

“Go back to sleep.” it sounded almost like an order, but she didn’t have the strength to admonish him. Her eyes were slipping shut again even though she tried to fight it. 

The light on the table was off and she knew she was alone before she opened her eyes the last time she woke up. There was a stillness in the room that hadn’t been there before. 

Just remembering in time that her left arm was essentially non operational, Felicity pushed up slightly with her right and settled back against the pillows. She pushed loose hair out of her eyes and looked down expectantly, not surprised when she found herself in clothes that were not her own. 

She was really going to have to find out who kept changing her. 

This time it was a t-shirt from the Starling City pro baseball team, accented with a deep aubergine scarf that was being used as a sling for her injured arm. 

A scarf that once she touched it she realized must be made of cashmere and must have cost more than she would have willingly spent. 

Her glasses were no where to be found, and without them she squinted pointlessly at the clock across the room. From what she could remember she must have slept the day away. She also must not have broken her neck on the stairs, although she wasn’t sure how; Oliver had been too far away when she fell. 

Deja vu hit her hard as she pushed back the heavy covers and attempted to pull herself to a seated position. It hadn’t been that long ago that she’d woken up here. However, she at least knew where she was this time. 

The ache in her arm and her head increased as she slowly made her way to the bathroom, and it was with great delight that she remembered Oliver’s stash of prescription pain medication. 

The image that greeted her in the mirror was one she barely recognized. Her normally fair skin was wan, and despite the amount of sleep she’d had, shadows bruised the tissue under her eyes. She had small cuts and abrasions along her jaw and the side of her face that she hadn’t even known about. Her hair hang limp. It was still dusty, and she wanted nothing more than to help herself to Oliver’s shower again, but she didn’t want to risk undoing the sling. 

With a resigned sigh she fished out the least potent medication she could find and swallowed it down before ignoring the filthy Felicity reflected back at her and set out on a quest to find Oliver. 

The house was completely silent. The door to Thea’s room was closed and even though she’d stitched the girl’s head and inserted an IV into her arm, Felicity didn’t feel like she could just walk in. 

Her need to see Oliver increased with every step. She was beginning to piece together what had happened and it worried her that she’d been asleep so long. Or had she been unconscious? 

He hadn’t been in the best headspace when they’d talked all too briefly the night of the earthquake. Tommy’s death, and the destruction of the Glades had lay heavy on him and she knew that wasn’t going away easily.

As she stepped across the foyer, shadows cast from various points and made the space seem heavy and foreboding. A shiver went down her back and she walked quicker. 

Her first visit here she’d never made it any further into the house, but there was no imperious Moira Queen to stop her this time. 

Small table lamps here and there gave off some light, but it was still hard to discern what rooms she was walking past. The one on her right was massive. The picture windows spilled in moonlight, the glass dominated by a huge replica of a sailing ship. There were several couches and chairs arranged in very orderly and precise ways, and while Felicity thought it was a nice room it was too formal and stuffy for her tastes. 

She passed by a dining room that could seat twenty, an office, and a library. The latter she actually appreciated and wouldn’t have minded spending time in there. 

The kitchen surprised her. It had a very different feel than the rest of the house, and while yes it was large and had every top of the line appliance imaginable it still seemed like it was used and had a purpose. 

Felicity made her way to the center island and rested her fingertips on the cool surface. She peered at the small numerals on the microwave and saw it was almost midnight. A sound behind her made her jump and she winced as she turned, only to see an equally startled woman staring back at her. 

“I’m so sorry Miss. Is there anything I can get for you?” the woman wore a uniform and was obviously a member of the Queen’s household staff. 

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just looking for Oliver.” Felicity stuttered out

A fond expression crossed the woman’s face, “Mister Oliver is around. He goes for walks sometimes. He thinks I do not know, but I know.” the knowing twinkle said everything. This woman knew all that happened in that house; not that she would ever divulge a secret. 

Felicity was suddenly aware that she was once again walking around the Queen mansion with only a shirt on. She tugged the hem self consciously and adjusted the sling. “I’m sorry. I seem to keep losing my pants when I’m in this house.” 

There was no comment, and she didn’t know if that was good or bad. 

“Sit, Miss.” This time Felicity wasn’t given a choice as a stool was pulled out for her. 

Felicity sat down gingerly, “Thank you. I don’t want to be a bother...” 

“No bother. This is my job, Miss.” 

“It’s Felicity, my name, you can just call me Felicity.” she didn’t like the feeling of having someone deferring to her. “What’s yours?” 

An appreciative smile crossed the woman’s face, “It’s Rosa, Miss...Felicity.” and Felicity returned her smile. 

“You must be hungry, you slept all day.” Rosa said, and began to pull items out of the mammoth refrigerator. 

Just as she was about to protest, Felicity’s stomach gave a large grumble, and she flushed, “Must be.” she agreed,

“The doctor said you were very lucky, Miss Felicity.” Rosa said, already falling back on decades of habit. 

“Doctor?” Felicity questioned, not bothering to correct the woman who seemed to be putting together a delicious looking sandwich for her. 

“Mister Oliver called in the Queen’s doctor to look at you and Miss Thea. The vultures at the gates would never let you out.” her eyes darkened and she scowled as she referred to the reporters that were waiting for a member of the Queen family to emerge. “He yelled loud enough to shake the rafters and said he’d bring in a helicopter to take you to the hospital but the doctor said you could stay as long as you rested. 

The image of an angry, worried Oliver saying he’d bring in a helicopter for her made her stomach flip. “Is Thea ok?” Felicity asked hastily. She didn’t want to dwell on what she’d just learned, and fear that she hadn’t been able to treat Thea correctly sliced through her. 

“Yes. Her young man said you saved her. The doctor agreed.” 

Felicity looked at her lap and fiddled with the fringe of the expensive scarf. “I just got lucky.” 

Rosa slid a plate in front of her, a sandwich and fresh fruit, and Felicity’s mouth watered. 

Before she could reach out and pick up the fork, Rosa’s hand covered hers. “Thank you.” she said, tears clouded her vision and Felicity could see how much she cared for Thea. 

Felicity could only nod. 

Rosa turned back to her tasks, but paused after a moment, struggling with whether to say what was on her mind or not. She folded a dish towel slowly and then looked back at Felicity. “Thank you for saving Mister Oliver,” she said carefully, Felicity opened her mouth to reply but Rosa continued, “I do not mean last night.” and Felicity was left gaping as the older woman slipped quietly out of the room. 

She managed to eat half the sandwich and a few pieces of the fruit before her stomach rebelled and she pushed it away with a grimace. Rosa’s words echoed within her. They sounded so simple, but they held more weight than Felicity was sure she could bear. 

She’d known Oliver was different, that being with him, in whatever capacity, would be different, but she didn’t realize until the night of the earthquake what that would actually entail. 

It wasn’t just keeping his secret; that part was easy. Protecting him from himself, and making sure he didn’t pull her down with him was going to be the hard part. 

She was beginning to feel that panicky, out of control feeling she had felt last night when it was up to her to save everyone. She leaned her good elbow on the counter and braced her forehead into her hand while she concentrated on her breathing. 

The air shifted around her, and even though she knew there was some sort of logical, scientific explanation for it, she could tell the minute he entered the room. Her mind drifted to overly poetic novels and over used movie tropes. But facts were facts, and she knew he was there. 

She didn’t start when one broad arm wrapped itself around her waist from behind and came up so his hand could tangle with the one in the sling where it rested between her breasts. She let out one long, slow exhale and reclined only inches before her back was solidly against his chest. 

She could feel the tension in him. It rolled off in waves, and was so strong she didn’t know how it didn’t physically force her away. His left hand was an anchor at her waist. She let her eyes slide shut and waited. 

The steady thud of his heart, and his even breathing reassured her. She felt her own anxiety ebb, even if she had no idea how he was. 

When he finally spoke his voice was a deep rumble that she could feel as well as hear. “You scared the hell out of me.” he rasped

She took a moment before she answered, because she needed him to understand that losing someone you care about wasn’t something unique to him. “You scared the hell out of me too.” 

He shifted closer, held her a little tighter. His head lowered and she could feel his chin brush the crown of her head. “How are you?” 

“Sore, and tired.” she admitted, knowing he wouldn’t accept anything less, “How are you?” 

He got tenser, if that was possible, “I’m fi...” he began but she cut him off by digging her nails into his hand.

“Don’t say you’re fine. There is no possible way you’re fine.” 

He used his deft fingers to detach her nails from his skin and twine between the digits. “I’m here.” he said finally 

The tight fist around her heart loosened some as she settled against him more firmly, “Here is good. I’ll take here.” 

Here was probably all she could expect right then. Tommy, the Glades, Thea, her. Oliver’s normal sense of responsibility was higher than most, and now...combine it with the guilt... the fact that he hadn’t bolted was more than she could ask for. 

She knew he wasn’t going to say another word or make another move until she did. Felicity shifted in her seat and turned so she could see him, immediately missing his warmth. 

“You’re aware that Rosa knows about...you know.” she said and tried to mime pulling a bow but her hurt arm wouldn’t let her. 

He stared back at her, disbelief taking away the dead look that had been in his eyes. “Rosa?” he asked

“You didn’t know?” she asked, surprised

“She can’t...” but as he trailed off she could see his brain processing through numerous encounters to see if he could spot when exactly the long serving housekeeper had caught on. 

“Trust me, she knows.” Felicity assured him, “I think she likes me.” she said, trying to maybe tease a smile out of him. “She fixed me a sandwich.” 

His lips tugged slightly and she felt a small surge of victory, “A sandwich huh? If she used the special sauce you do rate high.” 

She gave him a broad grin, “It’s never bad to be on good terms with the one who controls the pantry.” 

“Must be why Digg likes Carly so much.” he replied. It was forced, and a bit stilted, but he tried, and thats what counted. 

She slid off the stool, leaving a hand on his arm for support, and was glad to feel him wrap around her waist from behind and guide her from the room. 

Before they stepped onto the inlaid parquet floor of the foyer Oliver paused and looked up at the railing where she had almost tumbled to her death. 

A shudder went through her, “What happened?” she asked and felt the hand at her back bunch in the material of his shirt. 

He looked away, the tightness in his jaw returning. “I’m sure you’re tired.” he deflected

“I am,” she agreed, in fact that pill she’d taken was starting to work a little too well, but before her brain descended into mush she needed to know what had happened. “But I don’t understand how I wasn’t being scraped off this very lovely floor.” 

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she regretted them. Oliver’s arm fell away from her and his eyes shut tight. The clenched fists at his side seemed to be the only way he was keeping control, and that was tremulous at best. “Don’t.” he ground out.

She lifted a hand to touch him in apology but he stepped back and began to pace around her. The hands that had been fists were now scrubbing over his close cropped hair. 

“Every time I shut my eyes...” he began and then stopped himself short. “Every time, I see your body, bent and broken on this floor, or Tommy dying, or Thea laid out in the street...I can’t...”

She followed him, her hand clamped down on his bicep and halted his movement. “I’m right here.” she assured him, but it didn’t seem to be enough

“I watched you fall, and you were too far away...I shouldn’t have been able to catch you, but somehow I did. The doctor said you had mostly passed out from exhaustion, but that the blow to your head could have caused internal damage he couldn’t assess.” the way he spat the words out made her think he was repeating them verbatim. “Moving you, or leaving you here was the same risk.”

She gasped, “But Rosa said...she said all I needed was rest” Felicity was confused.

He finally looked at her, and even in the dim lighting she could make out how fearful he’d been, “Rosa doesn’t know everything.” 

Her hand left his arm to brush along his cheek, “I’m so sorry I scared you.” 

His hands came up to cup her face and the kiss he gave her was so soft and reverent it almost felt like a goodbye. Ice clenched in her stomach until he pulled her towards him and held her as tightly as he dared. 

“How are Digg and Thea?” she mumbled into his chest, the drug beginning to make her feel like her mouth and brain weren’t completely connected any longer. 

“Digg will be fine, and so will Thea. The doctor was suitably impressed with your suturing.” 

“And how about you?” she asked

His pause made her pull back and look up at him, “Oliver...”

“I might have needed all new stitches after I caught you on the stairs.” he admitted, but she knew he didn’t regret it. 

“I’d scold you, but you saved my life, so I’ll let it slide this time.” she told him, and laid her head back on his chest.

“Come on, you need to rest, and something tells me you’ve helped yourself to the contents of my medicine cabinet.” 

“It’s not like you were using them.” she countered, but allowed him to pull her to his side as they climbed the stairs. His grip grew even more solid the higher they went which she purposely ignored. 

Her feet drug as they navigated the hallway, her head now firmly tucked into his shoulder as he all but carried her back to his room. The thought had never occurred to her that she should be going back to her own place. 

He reached for the door handle when a voice from behind them called out, “Ollie,” 

He turned swiftly and brought Felicity with him, her hand clutched into the fabric of his shirt in a feeble attempt to keep her balance. 

Thea stood outside her own room, Roy hovering close behind. She looked tired but whole. 

Oliver made sure Felicity was steady before he took three long strides and scooped his sister up in an embrace. “You ok, Speedy?” he asked and the girl could just nod her head. He sat her back down and pushed her hair back so he could see the bandage on her temple. 

She caught his hand and gave it a squeeze before dropping it. “I’m better.” she told him 

Felicity took a few steps closer, but didn’t want to intrude. Oliver and her had never discussed what being ‘together’ entailed. For all she knew he could have meant he wanted to keep it a secret so he could continue his playboy persona for the press, which also meant his family wouldn’t know. 

“Hi,” Thea said softly and Felicity realized with a start it was directed at her. 

“Hi.” she replied, once again mortified to realize she was in only a t-shirt, and that Thea had, no doubt, just seen Oliver with his arm around her. So much for that whole secret thing. 

Thea came a little closer, “Roy told me, that you saved me. So I just...I just wanted to say thank you.” 

Felicity flushed, “I just got lucky,” she protested

“That’s not what the doctor said. So, really, thank you. And thank you for taking care of my brother too, even if the big grump won’t say it himself.” she said with an easy smile. 

“You’re welcome. And don’t worry, he’s not always a grump, and he’s already thanked me, in his own way.” she pressed her lips together tight as soon as she was done speaking and the words resonated with her. Thea’s eyebrows shot into her hairline and Roy pretended that the pattern of the carpet was absolutely fascinating. 

Olive gave an awkward chuckle and scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck, “I think those pain pills might be kicking in.” he said, even though they both knew she said things like that on a regular basis without the assistance of legal narcotics. 

Thea shot her a sympathetic look and then turned back to Oliver. “How are you? Roy said the doctor had to stitch you up.” 

“I’m fine.” he said automatically, and Felicity flashed back to only a short while ago where she hadn’t let him get away with saying that, but Thea didn’t press. 

The girl studied him for a long moment, clearly struggling with what she wanted to say next, and then she just blurted it out. 

“What about mom?” she sounded so much like a little girl then

Oliver flinched, “I don’t know. Mom did...for whatever her reasons, she did a horrible thing...” the control he had to execute was beginning to wear thin and talking about his mother was probably going to be the last straw. 

“Ollie, it’s Mom! I know how bad it was, I was there! But she’s still Mom! You can’t just abandon her.” Thea retorted, her grief at losing another parent making her lash out at her brother. Felicity took a step closer to Oliver because she could seem him fighting to tamp down his emotions but she didn’t know if he’d be successful. 

“I’ll call the lawyers in the morning.” he capitulated, and for a second it seemed to placate his sister. 

Confusion crossed her face, “You haven’t called them already? What the hell have you been doing.” 

This time it was Roy who stepped forward. His eyes exchanged a glance with Felicity. Whether he knew how close Oliver was to losing it or not, he sensed that now wasn’t the time for Thea’s criticism. He grasped Thea’s elbow and bent low to whisper something in her ear. 

Felicity didn’t know what he said, but Thea’s eyes cut over her and suddenly she felt self conscious. She was about to turn and head into the room, as awkward as that would have been as well, when Thea spoke. 

“I’m sorry, Ollie. I didn’t know.” she said quietly and gestured to Felicity although she didn’t look at her. Oliver appeared to understand what she hadn’t said and nodded. 

The longer she stood there, the more sleepy she became, and she was never more grateful when Thea announced that her and Roy were going off to raid the kitchen. Oliver’s hand captured hers and towed her back to his room. 

She sat gingerly on the bed and looked up at him, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. 

“Do you need anything else?” he said to the space over her shoulder

“Just you.” she replied, the drugs loosening her tongue even past it’s normal point. 

His gaze shot back to her and she tugged ineffectually on his solid form. “You haven’t slept, have you?” she asked, but he didn’t answer. 

Felicity scooted over to make room and watched as he battled internally. She let out a breath she didn’t even know she’d been holding when he slid in next to her. 

Their respective injuries made laying down difficult, but she finally laid on her right side, using his good arm as a pillow. He wrapped his forearm around her waist and latched her to him. 

She felt him let out a long exhale. 

“Just sleep.” she instructed, and wished she could rollover to face him just then. His lips brushed a kiss over her hair but he didn’t reply. 

The drugs were pulling her under. As she drifted off she thought of everything that was ahead of them. Rebuilding the foundry, Moira’s trail, Tommy’s funeral. None of those seemed as daunting as rebuilding Oliver. 

He’d lost his purpose. She’d seen it that night after he’d pulled her out of the rubble. She’d seen it when he didn’t seem that upset that Roy had found out his secret. She knew he was doubting himself and his place in the city; the Hood’s place especially. 

So she’d get him through the trail, and help him write Tommy’s eulogy, hold his hand at the graveside service, and direct him towards Diggle when he needed to use his fists to expel his emotions. She’d oversee construction at the foundry, and make sure her fiber optic cables were run correctly, and the nightclub back on it’s feet. And when every possible distraction and excuse was out of the way she’d force him to face his demons and realize, like she did, that the city did need him as a hero and not a vigilante. 

“Stop thinking” he murmured into her hair, and she smiled into the warm skin she lay on. He was giving her a base to work from at least. It would be slow and it would test her in ways she could’t imagine, but she knew it would be worth it. 

“Good night, Oliver,” she said softly, her voice already trailing off

He kissed again before replying in kind, “Good night, Felicity.” 

As she finally fell asleep, her last thought was that even though they had been faced with so many horrible obstacles, she felt hopeful that they’d come through. Oliver’s soft snores were proof.


End file.
